Color

Hundred Sixteen

Alex walked into the house, looking more exhausted than usual. 

He could hear the others in the kitchen, and it made him smile to think of them making breakfast together. 

He locked the front door behind him, setting his soccer bag down on the dining room table. 

He took a quick drink of his water, before walking toward the kitchen. Overhearing a little of the conversation. 

Someone spoke softly, and then a beat of silence. 

Mitch was the next voice he heard. "Oh, Avi... I used to fully believe that there would never be a human on the earth that was good enough for that boy's heart, and then you go and say that."

Alex walked into the room, not wanting to overhear something he wasn't supposed to. "Hi." He said softly. 

Avi didn't look at him, feeling particularly vulnerable in that moment. 

Scott spoke to him instead. "Lex, I was making you a thing. Sorry if it's shitty, I couldn't remember all your dietary things."

Alex grinned and walked over. "Aw, that was thoughtful of you." He scanned the ingredients in the blender, that hadn't been blended yet.

"You don't have to drink it if you don't want." Scott said quickly. 

"Don't be silly, it looks great! What's in it?"

Mitch slid his hand across the counter, to hold Avi's hand briefly. He spoke softly. "Thank you. I enjoyed the story."

Avi nodded once, giving his hand a squeeze before letting go. 

*

Alex waited for Mitch to step away, before walking over to stand beside him at the stove. 

Alex leaned over to kiss Avi's cheekbone once. "Hey, babe. You doing alright?"

Avi nodded, putting a final pancake on his stack, to turn off the stove. "Fine."

He stepped away, to put a bowl and a whisk in the sink to be washed. He reached over to grab the now empty blender container, to add it to his pile to wash. 

Alex didn't believe him. He followed him, to put his hands on Avi's upper arms to turn him, so the two men were facing each other. "Avi, slow down. What's wrong?"

Avi pulled himself away quickly, refusing to make eye contact. But he froze after he did it. 

He sighed, and turned back into Alex's reach, to look up and meet Alex's kind eyes. "Sorry. I'm just... Feeling overwhelmed. And it's easier to do a bunch of tasks to distract myself, than to stop and feel it."

Alex nodded slowly, returning his hands to where they were on Avi's arms. "Okay. I hear you, honey. It's okay to feel like that. Can you unload some of it onto me? So we can share your burden?"

Avi hesitated, as Alex knew he would. But he took a deep breath, and nodded. "Maybe I can talk to everyone at breakfast. Might make me feel better."

*

Avi passed out plates, and set a stack of pancakes in the center of the dining room table. Mitch's two plates full of eggs and bacon were already placed, and there were drinks in front of all the chairs. 

Alex sat with his large cup full of smoothie, and didn't reach for anything else, as the others filled their plates. 

Mitch's hand snuck under the table to rest on Scott's thigh. "Baby... Did you wanna talk about how you're feeling at all? Or... Mention what your mom told you?"

Scott glanced at the others. "Is, um... Is Kirstie not coming back?"

"She didn't say. Figured it wouldn't be until a little later."

Scott nodded a few times, and then met Avi's eyes. "She just told me not to worry about it. She doesn't think he's actually gonna come here."

Avi rolled his eyes. "Stupid... We know better than that. He's fuckin' crazy, of course he's coming here."

Alex reached over to hold one of Avi's hands over the table, as he spoke. "Do we have any idea when it might happen..? I was like.. Walking back from campus, trying to check and make sure nobody was following me."

Scott shook his head. "Probably sooner, rather than later. He's got nothing else to do with his time."

Alex nodded slowly. "And.. He's got the house address. Does he know where you guys work or anything?"

"Not to my knowledge, no. But.. If I find anything out, I'll put it in the groupchat just in case. I just... Don't want him to harass anybody."

The room was silent for a moment, before Avi directed a question at Alex. "Are you hungry at all, babe? I can grab one of your yogurt things if you wanted something a little healthier."

Alex just smiled. "Not right now. But thank you."

Avi nodded slowly, and then turned to face Scott again, setting his fork down. "So... Now that we're on the subject of feelings... I'm feelin' kinda overwhelmed right now. And I just wanted to say something in case I lash out, I..." He shrugged, and looked down. 

Mitch was the first to speak. "What's going on, Av? What's bothering you?"

"Besides the thing with Scott..? Work is kinda hard right now. And like... I'm just feeling kinda stuck in my life right now. Like I don't know what I'm doing."

Alex hummed in understanding. "I see... Well there's other things you can do, maybe to give you something else to look forward to. Come with me to some of my volunteering things maybe. Or, um. Mitchie can show you that cute coffee shop he loves."

"Yeah maybe... That might work."

Scott grinned. "It totally will, dude. I love that fuckin' coffee shop. They've got cold brew."

Avi nodded, and looked down. "Y'know what else has been bothering me?"

Scott was concerned quickly, at how fast the topic changed. "What?"

Avi squeezed Alex's hand slightly. "I'm just... Dude, I'm so fucking in love right now. I can't even put it into words... Like, it's so beyond just loving him. I am so, so, in love with him."

Alex just stared at him, although Avi refused to look up. "Oh, baby... I didn't know you felt that way."

"I know. I'm shit at talking about it, I just... Hoped you would magically know how I felt. But... I just need you to know."

Alex leaned over enough to reach out and turn Avi's face toward him, only to kiss him.

Avi pulled away quickly, eyes still closed. "Woah... I still love you, even when you taste like kale."

Scott couldn't help but laugh. "Pfft... That's real love right there."

**