Color

Hundred Twenty One

(A/N)

Nothing wildly graphic in here, just know that it is very very sad. And the abuse is mentioned and discussed, so if that's upsetting or triggering for you, please steer clear. 

None of it is essential to the plot, it's just for those curious of Scott's past. 

**

Scott was sitting on the floor, leaning his back against the wall. 

Mitch sat in front of him, on the edge of the bed. "However much you want to tell me, baby."

Scott reached forward to grab a pillow off the bed, and held it close to his chest. "Fine. Just... Don't come over here until I'm done. I'll start crying, and won't be able to finish. Like, literally don't even tell me it's okay, because that'll break me."

Mitch frowned down at him. "Oh baby... You poor thing."

"Like that, don't say that." Scott held the pillow tighter, his wet hair still falling in his eyes so he didn't have to see Mitch's face. 

"Okay." Mitch responded softly. 

Scott cleared his throat, and kept his eyes locked on the ground. "So like... You wanna hear about the first time?"

"Honey... Whatever you want to share. If... If you need me to prompt you a little, then sure? Tell me about the first time it happened."

Scott flinched, as the memory struck him. "Okay... Okay. So... I don't remember how old I was. Mom left when I was ten, so. A little after that. I also remember that it was cold outside. I have no idea why I know that, I just do."

"Okay. I'm with you so far."

"I... Oh, I guess I remember that because I was wearing a sweatshirt. And... I remember that, because my dad's friend asked me to.. To change. He didn't like it."

Mitch felt awful. It was so clear how difficult it was to talk about these things, but he knew Scott had never told anybody. And it needed to be said. 

Scott took a deep breath, and continued. "I didn't know what was happening... I didn't hear my dad asking them for money until like.. A week after it started. So I just... I don't know what I thought, I just was scared to say anything to my dad."

"Okay... Was it just one person the first time?"

Scott had to pause. "Yes. I don't remember who... In my head, the memory is fuzzy... He just... He was the first person I ever... Did that with, and... And I'll never regret anything more in my entire life."

Mitch felt tears immediately spring to his eyes, and then he felt even worse that Scott didn't even know the name of the person who stole that moment from him.

"And, like... I remember when he left... I texted my mom." He quickly shook his head. "So fucking stupid of me to do that... She didn't answer, and I should've known she wouldn't. I don't know why I got my hopes up."

Mitch spoke softly. "You didn't know better, honey. You were young."

"So then, I texted Avi. I told him I was scared." Scott shook his head again. "But, I... Whatever. Anyway. The next time, it was just... They came over to get drunk. And being a kid, I was scared of them being drunk, so I tried to sneak out of the house."

"Oh, I remember this a little. This was when you found out about the money, right?"

"Yeah, I like... I think it was twenty dollars or something... And after a while they started coming in groups, y'know... It got really bad after I was like thirteen."

Mitch was holding the comforter under him, squeezing it in his hands because of how badly he wanted to walk over and hug the boy in front of him. "Describe it to me?"

Scott nodded quickly, like he knew he should but he couldn't figure out how. He took another deep breath. "I... I mean... Avi knew something was wrong. There were just. Bruises everywhere.. Scars and.. All kinds of shit."

Mitch finally felt his tears begin to fall. "Mhmm."

Scott shook his head slowly, hair still falling in his eyes to give him some sense of safety. "They... They came over all the time, Mitch... It was like. Every single night... I was so exhausted... So tired of crying, and.. Having to get up the next day and pretend it was all okay."

"Oh, baby.. I'm so sorry."

Scott shook his head again. "Avi kept me going, I.. I couldn't..." He paused, tilting his head down further. "I couldn't keep waiting for my mom to come back.. So I stopped coming home. I.. I asked Avi to teach me how to fight, and... I learned. Because I thought it would help me survive."

Mitch was trying so hard to respect what Scott had asked of him, but he was really starting to lose it, as his tears fell faster. 

"Sorry... I'm losing track of what I'm talking about... I just.. I feel like I can't breathe when I talk about this."

"If... If you don't want to talk about it... I understand." Mitch responded, before sniffling loudly.

"No, I gotta... I need..." Scott opened his arms out toward Mitch. "Please."

Mitch immediately jumped off the bed to fall on his knees in front of Scott, to grab him in a hug. "Scottie, I'm so fucking sorry..."

"Can I just... Say one more thing?" 

"Please, baby. Tell me everything." Mitch begged, even though he continued to cry into Scott's shoulder. 

"I was just a kid." Scott spoke a little louder than he was before. He spoke with a little more confidence. "I.. I said no. I said no, every time... And it was ignored, every single time. I did what I could to protect myself, and... I failed. But what's more important, is that I forgive myself for it."

Mitch continued to sob, leaning away to look Scott in the eyes. "You're... You're so strong, Scottie. I hope you know that."

Scott leaned forward to kiss him once, and then continued, this time being brave enough to look him in the eye. "I just wanna say I'm sorry... Sorry that I learned the language they spoke. They... They used the word love as a synonym for everything else but exactly that. I learned... Hands that spoke love, and love... That was never love, but.. Hurt, misery and broken bones."

Mitch couldn't even cry, he just stared into Scott's eyes. 

"You've been waiting for me to unchain myself from the shackles that held me so tight, so that when I was finally free to breathe again, you'd be there to hold me... So.." Scott had to wipe his own eyes. "Please hold onto this for a little longer. Please hold on to us."

Mitch grabbed him in a hug again. "Oh baby... Please hear me right now. This is love. And I promise that this is not going to hurt."

**