Solitary

Chapter 31- Shutting Down

My hair was back down to my hips again. Winter holding the ebony strands in her hands in fascination as I had to explain it.

When ever I can't control my emotions, my body is quick to react, Sometimes it's my nails, sometimes it's my hair, sometimes I shift into my wolf form and can't willingly shift back for hours.

Winter stuck by my through the entire night as I bawled my eyes out like a child. God, I never felt so weak. I never felt so exposed and vulnerable. Thankfully Winter didn't judge, and I appreciate her more for it.

"I have a bunch of sisters," Winter sits with me on the kitchen floor as Bubba lays in my lap comforting me. Baby playing in Winters lap and nipping at her fingers. "None of them really were upset about anything, or got really angry, and I thought it was strange. That's why you fascinate me."

"I do?" My voice croaked, sore from crying and the tightness.

"Yeah. The first day I met you, I knew we could be friends because you didn't ask me for a wish. You smelled I was a fairy and didn't try and take advantage of it, I almost thought there was something wrong with you." She laughed.

"There's a plethora of things wrong with me Winter." I say dryly, noticing my attempt at sarcastic humor came off as sardonic.

"I think now's not the perfect time to say this, but it's probably expected." She turns to me, her irises glowing pink, and I could see her essences sparkling on her skin. "You can ask for a wish."

"No." I say almost instantly.

"Wait, what?" The glow fades and I shake my head.

"Not that I don't appreciate it Winter, but I have nothing that I desperately want. And to make a wish right now seems...pathetic." I sigh. "I'm sorry, I know that came off rude."

"No, it's okay." She leans back against the cupboard. "Is there nothing you really want? What ever it is I can make it happen?"

"Can you make me disappear?" I turn my gaze to hers. "Can you make it so I never existed? Can you take me back to where I was eleven and still had a family?"

She gives me a sad look and shakes her head. "Sadly faeries can't go so far as to rewind time."

"It's okay. I just, don't want to be here. I want to just fall off the face of the earth, just fall away and pretend I never existed. Maybe then I'll be truly happy."

"Please don't talk like that." She leans her head against my shoulder. "I'm actually quite happy you're here. You are probably the most genuine person I've met. Everyone else up until this point has been so content and happy, pretending there's not anything wrong."

"That sounds nice." I laugh dryly.

"It's not. You're the only person that's honest and truthful, you don't lie even if it's a little hurtful. You keep it real and you don't pretend."

"I had to do that for the entire day today; Pretend. And I nearly choked myself to death just keeping the curse words down. I know they're gonna come back to get me and I don't want to be here when they do."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm gonna disappear for a while. I need to distance myself, I need to get my shit together before I lose it. I can't do that here." I say and push off the floor.

"Where are you gonna go?" Winter asks.

"It's better if I don't tell you. If they come knocking on your door,"

"Solus, you're my friend. They can't hurt me even if they tried. Lycans are powerful but not that powerful. Where is it you wanna go?"

***