Solitary

Chapter 63- Down the Rabbit Hole

"So what exactly did you do to her?" I asked.

We were both laying down in the floor of his balcony. The stars out, shining brilliantly down on us as our heads swam with alcohol. Nikolai was just as drunk as I was, drinking his own brew had to do something.

I found comfort in his intoxication as he went on to explain the last submissive he had.

"It was somewhere during the roaring twenties." He muttered. His eyes refusing to stay open as he slurred his words. "I liked anything involving impact. Floggers, whips, riding crops, floggers." He listed off. "Wait, I said floggers already."

Both of us cracking up. This was probably the most carefree I had ever seen him.

"You are much more detailed that I gave you credit for." I giggled as I laid opposite him. I was truly intoxicated as I couldn't even feel my legs.

"I make sure to pay attention to the details when ever I get involved with someone. People don't realize that the details matter. So when I'd have a submissive, I'd make it a point to have an entire month of just discovery. Purely just getting to know my partner as a person. It helps a lot actually." He asks.

"Why couldn't you apply that to me!" I shout playfully but with some truth to the question.

"I was too excited. And you're right." He says as he takes a sloppy sip of his drink. The liquid trailing down from the corners of his mouth. "I've forgotten to interact with others outside the lycans. That most definitely why we had such a hard time at communication."

"Oh now you're saying it." I tease and he laughs as I take a sip of my drink. It's cold out tonight. The air biting chill of the air making me shiver. Nikolai noticed this and moved himself closer to me.

Without saying anything he brings his body beside mine, his arms reaching out and wrapping around me tightly. Hugging me to his chest as a hard sweep of ice cold wind hits us again. The warmth from Nik's body was enough to keep me from shaking.

After the wind had passed, neither of us could bring ourselves to move away from each other.

My body laid facing away from his, but I turned myself so I'd be facing him. His wraps still wrapped around me as I pull my head back to look at him.

"Nik?" I ask.

"Hmm." He looks down at me.

"Was there a time when you fell in love?" I ask. His eyes flash at me but he sighs.

"There were times when I enjoyed someone's company more than I thought I would. But I never allowed myself to love anyone that wasn't you." He says smoothly.

"Why not?" I ask. "I mean, you've lived a long time, you've seen and done so many things, I could understand if you had fallen in love with someone at some point."

He shakes his head. A calm breeze of wind surrounding us, but I couldn't feel it's chill with Nikolai's warmth embracing me. My wolf at ease and bathing in the warmth of his embrace.

"My wolf does." I say quietly. He angles his head down to me as I feel tears burning behind my eyes. "She's so deep in love with you, my thoughts always contradict each other. I can't sleep unless I call you first. Im always wondering where you are, what you're doing, who your with."

Nikolai's arms tighten around me, pulling me closer as I explain but I barely notice.

"That's what happens with your mate." Nikolai hums. His face closer to mine, and our eyes locking together.

"But Nik you have to know that terrifies me. Because I've felt this all before, I've seen this all before. And it didn't end well at all."

"That was then," he flips us over so that his body is resting on top of mine. "And I'm here now."