The Good Hair Family Sitcom

S1 E2.1: Uses of Ink

TJ's POV

"Hey, Cyrus?" I say as I round the corner into the kitchen. "What happened to all the lightbulbs?"

I just attempted to turn on three different lamps—one in my bedroom, one in the office, and one in the hallway—and each time, I found out that the bulb had been unscrewed and left laying on a table.

Cyrus takes a sip of his morning coffee and answers, "Yeah, Wyatt's been watching a lot of spy shows lately, and he's convinced that someone's bugged our lights."

My eyes wander past the pillar and onto the lamp on the dining room cabinet. The bulb sits right beside its base.

"Okay," I breathe. "Uh, do you know if the bulbs will be put back?"

"I told him he has to get them back in by the end of today," Cyrus replies, "so who knows. I saw him start to return the bulb to the lamp in the living room, but then he got distracted by a piece of dust in the air that he said looked like Bob Marley."

My attention is turned as Jayda steps into the room. She's up and dressed, in a jean skirt and floral top, with her hair curled and the radiating scent of all the hairspray she had to use to keep that curl in. On her face, she wears a bright smile.

"Great news!" she announces. "To get over Jeremy, I'm going on a journey of self-care."

"That's great, honey," Cyrus responds. "Sometimes you need that, to just take a bath or meditate or—"

"Can I have money for a tattoo?"

Cyrus nearly chokes on his coffee. "A what?"

My reply is so automatic that it hardly takes a second. "No."

"Why not?" she argues. "You and Dad have tattoos."

Okay, so Cyrus and I may have gotten drunk one night when we were twenty-one and decided to get matching tattoos. Now whenever I take off my socks, I see the word "bench" written in Arial font. It isn't that bad; it's a cute reminder of him. But I'm just glad it's not in Times New Roman.

"Yeah, but we were adults," I reason.

"You guys, adults?" she scoffs. "Can't imagine it."

"Jayda," Cyrus joins in, "we're only worried that if you get one now, you might regret it when you're older."

"But Tay's mom let her get a tattoo," she argues, crossing her arms.

"Do I look like Tay's mom?" Cyrus counters.

She throws her head back as she groans, "Ugh! You guys are so lame!"

She stomps out of the kitchen, and when she's gone, Cyrus looks at me.

"She never fails to make mornings interesting," he says.

"You can say that again," I reply with a chuckle.

As he brings his mug up to his lips again, an idea strikes me.

"Hey, when was the last time we had a night out?"

"Like a date night? Uh, maybe last month."

"How about we do something tonight?" I suggest. "I'll take you somewhere, just the two of us."

He grins at that. "I like it. But what about the kids?"

"They're responsible enough to stay home alone." After saying that, I pause for a second, Cyrus and I both looking at each other while we think a little deeper. Then I add, "I'll ask Amber to check in on them."

"Good idea," Cyrus agrees.

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Andi's POV

As I exit my art studio, I come into the hallway where a small black mark on the wall greets me. It's about the size of a fingernail and sits just higher than my head. My house is filled with art, but those are all sculptures I've built over the years, and those sit on tables and in the corners of rooms. A black ink stain on the wall is not the regular art here, and it's certainly not something I intended to have. At first, I try to ignore it, but the next time I pass by, it has become too obvious and annoying.

"Hey, Amber!" I call down the hall. "Where do we keep the wall cleaner?"

My wife appears from the living room, walking over as she says, "Why—? Oh." She sees the spot on the wall, falling under the same confusion as me. "Where did that come from?"

"I don't know."

"What are you guys looking at?"

We turn to see our daughter passing through. She holds a stack of schoolbooks in her arms, probably on her way to her room to do homework.

"This spot on the wall," I reply. "Do you know how it got here?"

She looks completely clueless as she shakes her head. "Weird, no."

She continues down the hall, and Amber and I go off to search for the cleaning supplies.

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Jonah's POV

Buffy's the one who opens the door for me and Walker when we knock.

"Hi! Okay, so Andreas is at a friend's house tonight, so you'll only have to worry about Brayden, and Cara," she explains. "Dinner is in the fridge, so you can heat that up whenever, and just make sure to get Cara to bed by 8:30."

"Got it," I reply.

Buffy smiles and nods kindly at me then looks to Walker instead.

"Yeah, I'll make sure," Walker confirms.

"You don't think I'll make sure she gets to bed?" I question.

"Yeah, basically," Buffy replies bluntly.

Marty comes down from upstairs while finishing tying his tie. The two of them both have meetings for work tonight, Buffy with one of her clients, since she's a sports agent, and Marty with the other managers at Adrenaline City where he does marketing. Because Buffy thinks Walker and I don't have a life outside of our friends, she asked us to babysit, and because Walker and I don't have a life outside of our friends, we agreed.

After Marty an Buffy have left, Walker and I go in to join the kids. Cara is in the middle of a Barbie court hearing, which Walker offers to take part in. 

"Perfect! You can be the witness," she squeaks. 

"Cool," Walker responds. "What did I witness?"

"Manslaughter."

"Oh... Fun."

Meanwhile, I take a seat next to Brayden at the kitchen table where he's busy painting the last touches of bronze on what looks like a long, toy version of a historical machine gun. 

"Hey, Brayden."

"Hi, Uncle Jonah."

"What'cha doing?"

"Just finishing remodelling my Nerf gun to look like a World War I Lewis M1914."

I nod, having only caught one of those numbers he spewed, and it was the M. Basically, he's turned his Nerf gun into a long barrel with a handle and a 97-round pan magazine on top.

"Cool," I say. "Have you used it yet?"

"No. I have a few other guns that I made too, but I haven't been able to play with anyone yet."

"You know," I say, "I never got to have a Nerf gun fight as a kid."