The Good Hair Family Sitcom

S3 E9.2: Friends With Girlfriends

Andreas's POV

"Hey, Andreas," TJ says when he answers the door.

"Howdy," I reply with a smirk.

"Is that what the kids say nowadays?"

I shrug. "I could say yes, and you wouldn't know if I were lying."

I smile smugly as I step inside and close the door. TJ just nods and leaves the room, letting me wait for my girlfriend on my own. A second later, I see her peeking over the railing of the upstairs, still in pyjama pants and no makeup.

"What?" she shouts. "No! You're early!"

"Yeah, I'm only five minutes late, not twenty," I respond.

"You can't be late all the time then suddenly show up on time! I'm not prepared!"

"Don't stress. Take your time. I'll be down here."

While she disappears back into her bedroom, I go into the living where I find Wyatt lying upside down on the couch, his legs hooked over the top of the cushion. His eyes stare at the television, but he frowns nonetheless.

"What'chu watching?" I ask as I sit down beside him.

"A movie with no romance at all," he mumbles. "Just a boy and his friends looking for aliens."

I pay attention to the film for a moment but quickly realize I know the plot.

"Doesn't he get with the girl in the end?" I say.

"Poop!"

Wyatt flips right side up and shuts off the TV, sighing angrily.

"What do you have against romance?" I question.

"Nothing when it's not my friends who decide to ditch me because that's more important," he rants. "I don't even get it. What's so special about girls?"

"They're beautiful and delicate yet powerful and hella attractive, and their lips are soft—"

"You sound like a lesbian," Wyatt comments bitterly. "Girls are just annoying. Some are fine, but only when they don't steal my friends."

"I doubt they're stealing your friends."

"They are."

"Your friends just like these girls and want to spend time with them. That doesn't mean they don't like hanging out with you."

"I don't get it," he pouts again. "I would never like a girl enough to give up getting glued to a fence."

"Didn't you say you had a crush on a girl once?"

"I don't know. What does a crush feel like?"

"Well, you feel nervous but in a good way, and you get butterflies when they say your name, and you want to look back at them to remind yourself that they're real."

"I only get butterflies when I'm about to throw up," he mutters. "I don't think I had a crush on her. I don't think I've had a crush on any girl. I just don't understand why people care so much about girlfriends."

I shrug. "Puberty. Hormones. They make boys do stupid things for girls."

"Not me. I don't."

"You're twelve," I remind him. "It's fine if you don't yet. And maybe you won't ever. Maybe you'll care about guys."

"But I don't like them either. Why is everyone suddenly so obsessed with other people? Jake, now Cody. Liking people is dumb."

"I don't know man," I respond but find myself smiling. "I kinda like your sister."