A/N: As always, do not play the song until it is said in the story.
Jayda's POV
"Hey, if you want, like, a refresher driving, I can help you," Oceana offers.
I keep my eyes ahead, muttering dryly, "I'm good."
"You just changed lanes without checking your mirrors."
"Aren't you observant."
I try to push her judgements out of my mind so that I can focus on not hitting the car in front of me. Her phone rings, and I think maybe that will keep her occupied, but then she hits decline, something she rarely does. She even answers to telemarketers to tell them she appreciates their offers.
"You're not gonna answer?" I say.
"They'll leave a voicemail."
"Who was it?"
"My mom," she replies.
Okay, that's totally false. I saw the caller ID, and it wasn't her mom.
"It said it was some fancy academy or whatever."
"Oh, yeah," she says, pretending like she didn't lie. "Uh, well, Synchrotron club—"
"Your complicated physics club?" I ask.
"Yeah, um... Anyway, we made a plan for a model that you wouldn't get, so I'll skip explaining it, but, um, we won an award from the province for a contest."
"That's amazing," I say, and I do mean it. "Did you already get it?"
"No, um, we're getting certificates at a dinner thing where we can meet the governor, and yeah."
"That's really cool." Then I give her a glance before looking back at the road. "How come you didn't tell me? Did you not want to?"
"No, I did, but... You know, we're allowed guests, and I was going to bring you, but you... Well, you know. You'd feel out of place."
I don't know why that simple statement makes me want to cry. Why is my chest tight from trying to keep myself together? Why is it suddenly so much harder to read the road signs passing by. I think I'm going too slow now. I check the speedometer and press my foot farther on the gas.
"Right," I mutter. "Because I'm not into all that science-y stuff."
"Everyone there will be really smart and respectable, and you'd feel weird. I didn't want you to feel bad about it, so I didn't tell you. I'm sure you understand."
"Yeah, no, I get it," I say, blinking away the liquid starting to well.
I manage to keep my eyes dry, at least enough that they don't spill over, but it only makes my core curdle more. She doesn't think I'm good enough for her smart people friends, and yeah, I guess I can't argue with that. I'm not like her. I'm not insanely smart and generous and considerate of every stranger I see—but I'm at least considerate of her. If she's that way for me, then I'm clearly missing it.
I stop before turning at the next corner.
"Hey, you got that sign," Oceana says. "Good job."
I don't respond, not out of anger, but just because...I don't have anything to say. I pull up in front of the shop she works at and put the car in park.
"Thanks for driving me," she says.
"Yeah, sure."
She gives me a smile before opening the car door to leave, and once she's gone, I can feel the air loosen. I don't drive away yet, though. Instead, I find myself fiddling with my charm bracelet, touching the little crown charm that Oceana gave me. I don't think it should burn to hold. This isn't normal. Or maybe it's normal, but...it shouldn't be.
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