The Good Hair Family Sitcom

S4 E10.1: Mountain Mom

Amber's POV

Dirt kicks up onto the toes of my sneakers as I walk next to Andi, leading the rest of our large family along the pathway. This mountain's been hiked many times, hence the man-made trail that loops through the trees which stand tall as a five-story house. The trunks are as wide as half a car, hinting at their old age. Before beginning the incline, Andi spins around to address the group.

"Okay, come on," she orders. "Don't stray off."

Of course, Wyatt isn't paying attention and immediately gets distracted, saying, "Is that a snake?"

He hovers toward it with an eager grin, but Cyrus hooks his hand through the teen's arm, preventing him from wandering off.

Andi takes a breath and begins another sentence. "I know we've never hiked as a family before—"

"Yeah, whose idea was this?" Jayda interrupts, "'cause my feet are made for flat ground. Anything above a 30 degree angle is too much."

My daughter glances to Jayda in befuddlement. "You know angles?"

"It's going to be fun," Andi insists, "so stop complaining, because I don't want to hear it."

I look over at Andi with a look that asks her if she's alright.

She releases a sigh and takes a moment before explaining, "Sorry, but my patience ran out this morning."

A cluster of other hikers pass us by, their chatter overtaking the sounds of nature, but their voices fade as fast as they come, and Andi takes that as our cue to get moving.

"Okay," she says, "let's—"

Suddenly, I see a white cloud of curls approach on the path.

"Mom?" I exclaim.

My brother, just as shocked, whips around to see our mother in all the glory of her tie-dyed skirt and crown of flowers and tree branches. Her hands float like being lifted by the wind as she glides over to us with a smile.

"Oh, Amber, deary!" she greets. She englufs me in a hug, then over to my my brother. "TJ!" Another step to the left takes her to Buffy. "I don't recall giving birth to you, but hello!" She hugs her too.

"That's my friend, Mom," I say. "What are you doing here?"

My mom lets go of Buffy and twirls to face me.

"I live here," she states.

"You live in a mountain?" Wyatt reacts.

Mom spots Wyatt among the group and goes over to him in wonder, saying, "My, aren't you tall now. Have you always had glasses?"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot I have those," Wyatt mumbles.

"Wait, Mom," I say, drawing her focus back onto me, "what do you mean you live here?"

"I live here," she answers, "in a house a little away."

"For how long?" TJ questions.

"Going on three months now. I just love the smell of the nature, don't you?"

"Yeah, sure," I respond, still fairly confused.

"Tilda," Andi chimes in, "we're about to hike the mountain..."

I flash my wife a look, which makes her hesitate to finish her offer, but unfortunately she ends up doing it anyway.

"Do you want to join us?" Andi asks, unsurely watching my reaction.

Too late. My mom gets excited, cheering, "Oh, I'd love to! Amber, your wife is so thoughtful. You should be more like her."

"Here we go," I mutter.