Lost in You

Chapter 21 - Christian

I hate that my question changes her mood. But I'm curious about it. Was scotch his ex favorite drink? But I doubt. They were together when they were 20. Most likely they just drank beer or wine by that time.

She licks her bottom lip. Damn! I've been dying to kiss her lips. I know I just used the shooting to kiss her earlier in the sea. But she looks so sexy swimming with her bikini. I couldn't help myself. And when I felt her lips quivering, I could see the sadness in her eyes. Why? Why did she cry when I kissed her? When I felt like it's home...

"I..um.." she clears her throat. "I will ruin our good mood Ian"

"Is it about your ex?"

She shakes her head "no..it's not Jase who makes me hate scotch" she smiles bitterly. Her eyes on the scotch near my foot. Her breath is getting erratic, her eyes glassy. Shit! I come to her and round my arm on her shoulders. "Hey hey.. I got you, Merry. I got you. I'm here" I whisper to her. She leans her body to me.

This.. this feeling. I don't know what it is. But the way she leans to me like she trusts that I will shield her from the world. And I will. I won't let anything happen to her. I kiss her head.

"Hey I'm sorry. It's okay if you—" but she cuts me. "It's my dad..." Her voice is small but clear.

"I told you I want to pull off myself from acting, right? It's because I'm fed up with acting. My parents' marriage was acting. They did that to make my paternal grandparents happy. My granddad had some money and business. He told my father that he would give him the company if my father married my mom. She was pregnant with me back then. My grand dad is a conservative man" she shrugs.

"So your dad married your mom?"

She nods. "They never love each other. When I was big enough I started wondering.. why I never felt any warm and happy family like my friends. My parents are always so busy with their own life. The only time they were together and held each other was when I fell from the cheerleader and broke my leg. I was 11 back then. My mom was hysteric and my dad held her tight" she looks up with the tears pooling in her eyes, but she laughs. "You know... at that time I was thinking it would be nice if I broke my others bone so I could keep seeing my parents like that."

I squeeze her shoulder. She looks at me. "My granddad died when I was 14. Dad got the company. He and mom decided to end their marriage, because they wanted to live their own life freely. But what about me?" She abruptly wipes her tears. "I was 14. They finished the divorce the next year. They sold the house. My only house. Put the money on my account. Packed my stuff and sent me to my grandma's house in Maryland. My grandparents were the only ones who loved me. While my parents were busy with their own life, separately, grandma was the only who called me. Asked me about my school, my friend, my dream and my life. Granddad was the one who made time to take me to a picnic, fishing and other outdoor activities." she snuggles closer to me. I hold her tight willing to make the hurtful memories go away from her.

"And as for the scotch. It happened when my grandma died 4 years later. Dad came home, after the funeral he stayed at home with me. His lady companion flew back to NY. That night he sat on the fireplace. I sat next to him. I thought we're going to talk about something more heart to heart. So I opened up with him. I said, grandma and grandad are the only ones who were there for me. I still remember dad chuckled. He told me he agreed with that. Even before I was born. It was only my grandparents. Because they were the one who wanted me. Even mom never wanted me. Mom and dad was planning to go to the clinic for the abortion. But my grandparents stopped them" Meredith kept her neutral tone. But I know she is far from okay right now. And something in my heart ache for her.

"Dad told me..." her breaths hitch. She inhales deeply. "You're just a result of too much scotch, Meredith... I never wanted you nor your mom. We were young and stupid. I forgot to use my condom, your mom forgot to eat her pill that morning. I was drunk when I fucked your mom. It was just a one night stand."