Lost in You

Chapter 50 - Meredith

"Why are you mad at him?" Bea asks me. Her hands crossed in front of her.

"Why are you mad at me?" I'm frowning at her. I never had a fight with Bea, I respect her. She is not only my manager but also my mentor, my guardian.

"Look Mer. I'm mad at you because you didn't listen to me. I know you had a bad experience with public consumption. But that doesn't mean you have to hide yourself from it. What's your problem? and don't tell me it's just because you don't want to. I need the reason. You can fool Christian but you cannot fool me, Meredith Underhill" she maintains to keep her lower voice but I know she is mad.

"I just don't want" I hug myself, feel stubborn.

"Meredith! Don't play with me!"

"Okay fine! I'm afraid of Ian" I look at her.

"Sorry?" She blinks.

"No, not that afraid. I mean..." I walk to my bed and sit down "he has my heart, Bea" I look at her, no more shield in my eyes. I let her know.

"God, you are in love with him?" her voice softens and she comes to sit next to me.

I nod. "this is stronger than the one with Jase. What if... he breaks my heart? He doesn't feel the same as I feel. Worse, he cheated on me or he dumped me?"

"Mer, just by the look I know this guy loves you too. I even thought that you're going to hurt his heart. Because it's so obvious he loves you more than you love him"

I shake my head "no Bea. He's not. His past makes him unable to fall in love"

Bea exhales "I don't know about Christian's past. But I don't think he doesn't feel the same as you. Why don't you ask him?"

"I'm trying too... really... but I'm afraid that means the end of our relationship."

"take the leap, Mer. Tell him. Or maybe you can ask him first."

I look at Bea. She wipes the tears on my cheek "look Meredith... if he feels the same for you. All these tears are silly. And we can finish the stupid headlines in a second. If not..." she exhales "I'll think the solution for you. okay? For now, just focus on your relationship with Christian. I never invest in my client's relationship as much as yours and Christian's. But I think you and him will be together for a very long time" she smiles. I laugh despite my tears.

She hugs me. "Trust me, Meredith. I'm here to fix all the wrong things. All I ask you is just... honest with yourself. Honest with your heart. okay?" She pulls back and looks me in the eyes. I nod.

We go outside, I feel better now. But Yuka, Ian and Larry's (he came when I was in the room with Bea) faces don't look any better than before we got it. It looks worse actually.

"What's wrong?" Bea asks.

Larry gives his phone to Bea and me. Oh shit!

Jase Hossler, Meredith Underhill's ex boyfriend, comes to the surface. Claiming that Bea White was the reason their relationship went south.

I skim through the magazine...

Bea wanted Meredith to debut as a single woman... trapped Jase with another woman... later when they were planning to reunite, put Meredith with a project with Christian Hall... asked Christian to act as her boyfriend... asked Anthony Lockwood and Andrew Roderick to talk to Jase to stay away from Meredith... Meredith loves Jase, he is a distraction for her career based on Bea.

What the hell? Who made this story? Whoever it is. He or she should become an author.

And... my love life becomes public consumption... all over again.