His obsession | mxg

Chapter 19

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Jonathan's point of view

I see her standing next to a bookshelf reading the back of a book. I decide to walk towards her. She doesn't hear me walking. I stand behind her now. I want to hug her so badly. But I can't that would be inappropriate.

"Do you like it?" I suddenly ask her. As a reaction, she jumps out of fear and turns around. I noticed I was standing very close to her now. I was about to take a step back but she already did. She puts the book back on the bookshelf.

"I'm sorry did I scare you?" I ask worriedly and she just nods. "I'm sorry," I say again and I look down. "It's okay-y..." she says while stuttering. It's cute. I look up and I see she was also looking down. I smile widely. She looks up and sees me smiling.

"Do you like it?" I ask her again. "Like what?" She asks and starts looking down again. "The library," I say and she nods. "I knew you would," I say proudly. I walk towards another bookshelf and grab the book caught by Christina J. Michaels. I walk back to Ro and I hold the book out for her to grab it.

She grabs it eventually and starts reading the back of it. "I think you would love this book, you can read it if you want," I tell her and I give her a small smile. I'm afraid she will decline.

She just nods and starts looking down again. "How is your back?" I ask after a while. She looks up and says "it's-s ehh getting better-r, it doesn't hurt much anymore-e," she says, she still stutters. She's so adorable. I nod and sigh in relief. "That's good," I say and she nods.

"I was just wondering ehh.." I say not finishing my sentence. I hesitate to ask her. She looks at me curiously and I sigh. "W-would you like to join me for d-dinner tonight?" I say. Fuck I'm stuttering. I look at Ro and she looks at me in disbelief. Fuck I said something wrong.

I gulp and say "I-it's okay, I understand," I say while looking down. She eventually walks past me. Walking towards the door.

She left the library. I'm so stupid, how could I ever think she would want to have dinner with me. She hates me and now even more. I let my hands go through my hair. I start to slap myself. You are so fucking stupid. She will never fucking forgive me.

My eyes meet the wall in front of me. I start walking towards it. I slap my fist into the wall. I do it again. Again. Again. And another time. "Jonathan stop this!" I hear Jenna scream at me. I hear her run towards me. She grabs my hands and I look down.

"Jonathan, tell me what's wrong?" I sigh and some tears start falling. "I asked her if she wanted to have dinner with me tonight and she looked at me in disbelief. I know I'm a fool and so stupid!" I say and tried to get out of her grip.

"No Jonathan stop this. This is not a solution, stop hurting yourself!" She shouts at me. I don't listen and just keep on slamming my fist into the wall. "Jonathan stop! Look at me" She says. I stop and look at her.

"God, we have to take care of that," she says and tries to grab my hands again but I stop her from doing that. "No stop, this is my fault. I'll take care of it" I say and then she looks at me in disbelief when I told her that. She doesn't believe me because I never take care of my wounds.

Blood is dripping on the floor. "Stop lying, you never do that. Let's go I'm gonna take care of it" I sigh in surrender and she grabs my arms not wanting to hurt me because of my hand. She drags me out of the library.

We are walking towards my room. She opens it and we start walking in. She places me on the bed when we enter the room. She grabs the first aid kit and places it next to me. She walks into the bathroom and comes back with a washcloth.

She sits next to me and grabs my hand and starts cleaning my hand. "You don't have to do this you know," I say and look at her. She looks up and nods "yes I have to, it's my job," she says instantly.

"Listen to me, she might hate you now but you really have to give her some time. I just have a feeling she will feel comfortable someday, but you have to stop hurting yourself it doesn't fix anything!".

"What do you mean?" I ask her, she looks up again and says "I mean, I have a feeling that you two will get along. I just don't know why but I think she will eventually feel the same about you" I look at her in disbelief.

"Yeah sure in my dreams" I scoff. "Stop thinking negatively about it," she says and wraps the bandage around my hand. She grabs something out of the kit and gives it to me.

"Here a painkiller," she says and hands me some kind of medicine but I decline and stand up. "I like pain," I say and walk out of the room. I hear her sigh before I fully leave the room.

No way she will ever feel the same about me. Not after what I've done to her. I'm a monster. I just have the urge to always protect her, so I can't go to jail. I just can't stop myself from protecting her.

I just hope she will someday forgive me, not forget, I know she'll never forget but just forgive. Maybe a lot to ask but I just don't want her to hate me. If she doesn't, then the only option is to let her go and live her life. That means that I have to go to jail, that's what I deserve anyway.

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