Deliverance [h.s.]

eleven | we grew up way too soon

I really love you

Oh, you're my best friend

You're My Best Friend || Queen

*************

To say that I've spent most of my life as a raging pessimist, would be an understatement. I've spent every day of my life expecting the worst, checking for the monsters under my bed, constantly looking over my shoulder, just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I expect the worst out of every situation to protect myself because you can't be hurt by the outcome you've always seen coming. I savor the bad, to further love the good.

So, when yesterday didnt end in a complete fucking dumpster fire, you could say I was pleasantly surprised.

I expected to leave empty handed yesterday, to attempt to kill Harry out of anger, to be back at square one. I expected the worst, because that's who I am. I'll always be the destructor of my own self because I can never see the good side of things.

After all, you can't see something you were never shown to begin with.

But its not to say yesterday went off without a hitch, yesterday was still a fucking shit show in my mind. I had to spend an entire day with Harry, but it wasn't just an ordinary day, oh no, he spent the entirety of the day eating Mac's ass to piss me off. I had to spend the remainder of yesterday explaining the fucking mind game Harry was playing, he genuinely thought he was just turning a new leaf. That's who Mac is though, he's the gentle optimist.

I can't fault Mac for not seeing through Harry's thick layer of bullshit. I had told him to play nice, I had given him the impression that Harry was more tolerable than previously stated. He had finally caught on after the second hour of me explaining the fucking deception he was being put through. He apologized countlessly for overstepping in the conversations about our past, wishing he could take back his words once he knew Harry was only using him to get into my head. I wish I could have photographed the look on Mac's face when all the dots connected, that moment almost made the entire day worth it.

I've been up sitting on the couch since four this morning, watching the sunrise while sipping on my coffee. It's seven now and I can finally hear Mac stirring in his room which told me he'd be out soon.

I rose from my spot on the couch and made my way into the small kitchen, setting my coffee cup onto the center island. I shuffled over to the corner of the kitchen, the sound of my slippers sliding across the floor echoing throughout the room. I grabbed the handle of the black coffee pot and poured the contents of it into a medium sized mug, adding the creamer when I had finished pouring. I turned with the mug in hand to face the center island, setting it down across from me as I leaned my elbows onto the marble top. I reached for my coffee and brought it to my lips, taking small sips of the hot drink as I waited for Mac to come out of his room.

I heard the sound of his wood door creaking open, a few moments later his figure appearing in the kitchen. He stood in only his pajama pants, his unruly curls curtaining his forehead as he rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands to try and brush the sleep off of him.

"Well good morning, Hagrid." I chirp out as I bring my mug back to my lips for another sip.

"I'm sorry, did you just refer to me as Hagrid? As in Hagrid from Harry Potter?" He squints at me from across the island, his voice still groggy from waking up.

I hum a "yes" into my cup as I watch him grab his mug from the counter and follow my motions, taking a big gulp of the hot coffee.

"Care to explain why i'm Hagrid?" Mac pulled the chair out from underneath the countertop, taking a seat while leaning his head onto his hand.