Deliverance [h.s.]

seventy-two | deliverance

I turned around, there was nothing there

Yeah, I guess the end is here

The End Is Near || Phoebe Bridgers

*************

This is it.

Today is the day.

It all ends here.

Every tear, every bruise and burn in my soul, every bit of anger and anguish has all led to this. 60 days have come and gone. I have changed my heart and soul, forever. I died two months ago in that desert and now, I'm going to be reborn again but this time, I'll carry the people I love with me. I'll return home with my fractured being, mended and intact.

"Fucks sake, Mackenzie, move it along. We gotta go, go, go." Jax shouts from the doorway that he's been standing in for the last 43 minutes.

We're all on edge, running off of less than an hour of sleep each. We tried and tried to sleep but somewhere around three in the morning we all crawled to the living room, laying around on the floor, talking about nothing to keep us from thinking of everything else.

"It's okay, Jax. Relax, we have like 10 more minutes before we need to head out," I keep my voice soft and calm as I speak but his eye roll back rejects all my efforts.

Harry floats in from behind me, hands wrapping around my waist, lips softly grazing against my skin. A shiver runs up my spine as his warm, minty breath grazes my neck.

"You're awfully calm, baby blue," his palms grip my hips, turning my body to face him. "Are you okay? Honest. You can be scared, i wouldn't blame you- fuck, i'm scared too."

"I'm okay," I fight to force a smile but it comes easier than expected, "I'm just- ready. Maybe when I get there I'll be scared or nervous but right now, I'm more antsy than anything."

"Well, let's get going then jitterbug," Harry leans in with a soft kiss to my forehead before releasing his grip to meet Jax at the door.

I turn my eyes to Mac, who's running around the house frantically like a chicken with its head cut off. He's taking it the hardest right now and he's trying to mask it by doing every task under the sun. He hasn't stopped moving since the text came in last night with the location for today.

I briefly considered sedating him but it would've been more for my sanity than his.

"C'mon Mac, it's time to go," I pad over to him as he paces the living room, "We can worry about this when we get back."

His head whips to me with a scoff, "These plants are on a strict watering schedule. We'll have too much to do when Elias gets back that were going to forget and then it'll be too late-"

"Mac," I grip his shoulders, halting him, "If we don't go right now, then it'll be too late for Elias. I know you're stalling because you're nervous but let's take a deep breath and worry about this later, okay?"

He falls silent, taking my advice with a deep inhale and holding before letting out a drawn out exhale, "Okay, okay- yes, let's go."

I turn over my shoulder, giving Jax and Harry a quick signal nod. When we get to the door, the boys are nearly to the cars. I let Mac go ahead of me, stopping to take in the empty house one last time.

Five, a family of five will be here the next time these doors open.

Last night the plan was for Mac and Jax to take one car while Harry and I led in the other but this morning, I realized I need my brother more than anything. We started this together and we're going to end it the same.