Deliverance [h.s.]

fifty-six | figgie smalls

It's like the more money we come across

The more problems we see

Mo Money Mo Problems || The Notorious B.I.G. 

*************

I miss him.

Harry. I miss Harry.

Six days have ticked by, taking down our time to only 22 days left. Within these six days I've realized just how much I've grown to Harry. To his quirks of irritation. Or the crinkle of his nose when he laughs. How his dimples indent deep when he thinks something is especially funny.

I miss the way I feel normal with him.

I don't feel like the things of my past or the hauntings of my present.

I feel like a girl falling for the most unexpected man.

We've done wrong; together and apart but getting to know the real him that's been hidden away is more than i could've ever imagined. When I met him, raging cunt and all, I would have never seen myself past tolerating him and even that felt unattainable.

A few weeks of kindness does not right either of our wrongs but it sure as hell feels like a step in the right direction. A step towards forever whether we are together or apart.

"Is Harry coming over today?" Mac calls from the kitchen, watering the dainty plants lining the windowsill. Specifically the plant Harry had torn a leaf from not too long ago, still standing straight in the now damp soil.

"No. Not today. I think he said tomorrow though, why?" I spoke back from my space in the living room, using a wet cloth to wipe the dust from the green hanging foliage.

"No reason. Just kinda weird not seeing him for so long."

"Yeah, I feel the same," I huffed out, standing straight to look in his direction. "Speaking of Harry coming by tomorrow-" I trailed off with a dumb hint to my voice, Mac's head already cocked in preparation, "-I think i'm going to have him take me to see Steele."

Mac let out a booming laugh but as I stood firm, the sound faded out, "Oh, you're fucking serious?"

I turned away, not able to suppress my annoyance at his doubt for me. I went back to swiping the leaves, watching the color turn from a muddled green to a bright emerald with spots of white peppered through.

"Of course i'm serious," i felt very unserious wiping plant ass right now but i digress, "I think it's only fair that i get to stand up for myself now that things have cooled down, don't you?"

I could practically hear Mac's head shaking with disagreement from my spot near the couch, "You never know when to let things go, do you?"

"No. I really don't."

Is this out of left field? Yes.

Is this a bad idea? Potentially.

Should I mind my business and stay quiet? Sure, probably.

But am I going to? Absolutely not.

"How do you know things have cooled down, Grey? How do you know he won't kill your ass the second you walk in there?" Mac was now standing behind me, just a few feet away.

"I don't," I spoke matter of factly as I turned to face him, "He could shoot me. He could have me dealt with. But do I think he will? No. His hate for me is trumped by his love for his company. That love for his company is intertwined with his love for Harry. If anything happens to me, I have no doubt in my mind that Harry would do anything and everything to ruin Steele's life; even if it means ruining his own." Mac's crossed arms unfolded with a huff, "So, to answer your questions better. No, I will not let things go. No, I don't know if things have cooled off. But I know myself, and i wouldn't do anything I wasn't 100% sure about."