Deliverance [h.s.]

nineteen | the bubble pops

Mount Everest ain't got shit on me

'Cause I'm on top of the world

Mount Everest || Labrinth

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Competition; the activity of competing.

For as long as I can remember, I have thrived off competition. Going above and beyond to win in board games, beating Elias in motorcycle races he didn't even know we were doing, always trying to get the better grade on a test in school. It's no surprise that tonight, I'm going into the game with my heart set on winning.

I want to win. No, I'm going to win.

I won't allow myself to lose to someone like Harry. As sweet as he was today it was a facade, a fake fucking image of him. It was the person he wished he could be, kind and caring but the truth is, he will never be like that. He can try, lie to himself, but deep down he knows he'll always be a cruel and callous person.

I'm ready. I'm ready to walk in there and prove myself.

The calm is over and now, the storm is rolling in.

It's 8 o'clock, meaning I had thirty minutes to finish getting ready before Harry gets here. I'm making sure to go over the top with my appearance tonight. I want to look as good as I feel when I win.

I stood facing my bathroom mirror, applying my makeup subtly but strategically. I did a slight smoky look to my eyes and added a hint of shimmer to the inner corner. I leaned back from the counter and turned my head back and forth lightly, watching as the glitter reflected off the fluorescent lights. I shifted my weight back onto the ball of my feet, pressing my hips against the white sink. I picked up my rosy pink stained brush, swiping it across my blush pan before dabbing it onto my cheeks, giving my face a natural looking flush of color.

I've never been someone I liked who I saw in the mirror. I avoid myself at all costs, afraid of the person I'll see standing before me. I've never liked myself, I've never been able to. Now, I want to. I want to be able to enjoy who I am. I want to feel good in the skin I'll spend the rest of my life living in. Im not one for makeup, but if it means I can tolerate myself a little more than usual, by all fucking means im going to use it.

As a finishing touch for my look, I picked up my nude lipstick, giving a gentle swipe over my bottom lip. I rubbed my lips together and used the pad of my ringer finger to wipe away the excess. I pucker my lips into a small kiss, stepping back from my spot. I gave the person in the mirror one last look before moving onto my hair.

I toyed with my hair, running my fingers through the long strands. I made a mental note in my head to get my hair cut, knowing I eventually need to do something for myself. I brought the scalding curling iron to my hair, making a few loose curls in random spots. I don't need to go crazy with heat, my natural waves do most of the work for me. I placed the iron back on the counter top so I could pin back small pieces of hair. I left out two pieces in front to frame my face. I gave them a quick twirl with my fingers, nodding at myself in satisfaction with my work.

I walked out of the brightly lit bathroom, making my way down the hall to my small, familiar bedroom. I slid open the closet door, the wheels squeaking as they turned. I wasn't sure what I wanted to wear but I know I want it to be bold. I sifted through my neatly hung dresses, most of them being black or navy blue, an obvious creature of habit. I pulled out a few options, holding them up to my body in front of the full length mirror. I held up a short, navy blue, bodycon dress with a high thigh slit. I tilted my head back and forth, pulling the fabric around my waist, imagining what it would look like actually on.