Recovery

He Left Without A Reason

I just have bad habits I guess, like I chew on my fingernails no matter how old I get and I know it makes me look thoughtless but wait until you see how often I gnaw on my lips because I'm basically addicted. Maybe I'm just trying to tear off the last bits of skin that felt your kiss and sometimes I take cold showers or refuse to towel off and even though I hate not being warm, it's because my brain gets stuck on some ideas like burning a few extra calories without trying very hard. Kind of like how it got stuck on the idea that you might still love me even after all the pretty wore off. And I have a habit of panicking about times, like I can't be late to anything or my body becomes an explosion and my words become frozen. You were the first person I would have spent those 5 extra minutes with, like I would have show up late to everything if it meant just a couple continued moments of us lying quiet in our bed. And I like reading more than some people and I will try to pet every dog I come across and I am just really awful at crossing streets like for no reason my timing with that is actually horrifying and I like to touch every water feature around me even if it's in some high class lawyer place where they frown at you for running your fingers across their wall fountain. And occasionally I spend like an embarrassing amount of time in my pajamas and I always procrastinate no matter what I have for homework and I also have this thing where I second-guess everything I do but by far my worst habit is not being able to stop loving you.