Recovery

Letters & Teddy Bears

I just found a letter you wrote to me, three days after we broke up. At the time you gave it to me, I was infuriated, so mad that you gave me a teddy bear and an apologetic letter, when I had asked for space. When I got home that day however, I didn't throw away the bear, or burn the letter. I immediately put the bear in a little cubby where I could see it and put the letter in my bedside table for safe keeping. I loved the bear so much I'd take it out of the cubby and forget to put it back, so I put it on my nightstand for easier access. I took the letter out a few weeks later and read it again. My love for the bear, wasn't just for the bear. I realized as I read your name on the letter, my love was for you. I texted you and we talked, I thought you had moved on so I mentioned another guy's name and you said that you had known I liked him. Then you mentioned another girl and as I texted back "I knew you did", my heart sank deeper than it ever has before. Valentine's Day was coming up and I decided to tell you everything. I looked up from my locker to see you going outside to ask out that same girl you told me about.

Here I am now, almost a year after I first saw you and talked to you, with the same hope and sadness I had then. I found your letter again last night and I'm still reduced to tears by reading the first two lines. I still have the teddy bear too, it's sitting in my reading corner, along with the green blown glass flower you made for me.