Recovery

Accidents -R.I.D

1. I kissed Johnny because he made me laugh so hard that diet coke spurted out of my nose and I wept because it hurt and everyone cackled while I stood there over the sink, nose burning.

2. They told me I was losing control so I told them to go fuck themselves because my body is my car and I can drive it off road if I so choose and besides if you slam yourself up against enough trees you stop feeling it eventually.

3. Johnny took me to the beach and got me high for the first time and I stood out on the rocks and thought about how if I fell in I would die because I can't swim and I laughed and started jumping around until my feet bled but I never did slip and later when I sobered up I'd be staring at all the little cuts and say "barnacles" and Johnny thought that was so funny that he left me over the phone because he'd never be able to tell a better joke.

4. My feet scarred over and I couldn't walk right anymore.

5. I was so far off the highway that the woods looked exactly like home I mean I figure if you live next to a serial killer you're safer than if you never spoke to him at all. It's better to greet death with a roguish smile than let it catch you when you're alone.

6. I get high all the time and everyone around me is laughing at my antics and my nose burns and I don't weep because I'm sort of a dried up husk where nothing really matters anymore. And in the middle of the night Johnny calls me and says "Jesus Christ, dude, you're going too hard and everyone's scared for you" and then I hang up because really fuck you it's my car and my hands are off the wheel and I've sliced clean through the seat-belt and if I want to drive this directly into the river at least they'll know where to look for my body.

7. I lose everyone but that's I will have the ocean where the rocks are getting slipperier with each passing day and I'm just waiting to hear back from Poseidon because he's growing me a nice batch of seaweed right where it will tangle around my ankles and fucking kill me and everyone will think it was just an unfortunate incident and I'll be so fucked up I might even believe it I mean the good news is that if you stand over the sink with tears in your eyes and your whole body burning and your hands shaking as you pour yourself down the drain, as long as the boy you kissed makes a joke about it, everyone laughs about the mess just like how if you go out to where the rocks get sharp and your feet bleed everybody just blames your death on the wild of  the sea and the great news is that even when you've been riding the guard rails for awhile, if you drive your car directly off the bridge, people just think: "What a terrible accident." And accidents happen, don't they kid?