Recovery

False Image

I was blind. Yes, I loved you, once. At that point I would've destroyed every blocking view or taken you to a whole different country with a different timezone just so you could see the sunrise. I was absolutely and utterly in love with you. It hurt, but it was beautiful. It really was. Somehow, it was like you had compelled me and I ripped my heart out with absolutely no hesitation. It hurt, but it felt good to feel something. It really did. I think I was in love with the feelings you gave me, as well as you. I think that was the only good thing that came out of me falling in love with you; feeling something. I want everything back. I want that sweater you took from me and all those witty notes. I want everything I told you back. I need my soul back, my whole being back. 'Cause now I've been feeling nothing but emptiness; I never thought it could get even worse than the way it was before I had met you. You're a different person now. Or maybe I only had a false image of you. I miss that false image I had of you. But goddamnit, you really meant a lot to me, you know that? I really would've done anything for you. I kinda miss that too, despite how badly it hurt. I think I already mentioned that. I can't think, you see. I can't breathe. Sometimes I feel like walking up to you and spitting right at your face for the horrible way you broke that heart of mine that lies right in your hands. And sometimes, I wish it could've worked out. Or that maybe that false image I had of you wasn't so false.