Recovery

This Week Without You

Monday 9:16 am. You bought me coffee and it spilled all over me and burned my skin. How fucking ironic.

Tuesday 12:36 pm. I wrote a poem about you for English class. My teacher gave me an A and sent me to the guidance counselor.

Wednesday 4:09 am. You now have a voicemail from me crying into the phone. Please don't bring it up later.

Thursday 8:08 pm. I skipped school today because my heart was bleeding, I think. I don't really know what's going on in my chest right now. But I think it feels like what you'd feel if your heart started bleeding. And I know hearts are supposed to pump blood and stuff so I guess it's like hearts are always bleeding but that's not what I mean. I mean like, if someone fucking slashed it down the middle.

Friday 12:19 pm. I'm hiding in the back of the library because the new boy in math class smells like you and I got dizzy.

Saturday 6:03 am. I haven't fucking slept and I need to hear your voice but I know that if I do I'll fucking lose it. But what does it really matter? I've already lost you. What else is left? You were everything. That was a really big mistake. I shouldn't have made you everything. You could've been half of everything. Then maybe I'd be half okay. You can get good. But you can't come back from the dead. I'm so fucking dead. You were so fucking everything.

Sunday 10:09 pm. I can't sleep because you're not here. But if you were here, I'd just be shaking really hard, trying to keep my heart from pounding so hard it breaks my ribs, and trying to keep from kissing you. Maybe I'll just never sleep again. You always said you liked the way I look when I'm tired.