Recovery

6 Reasons Not To Cut

I. Because one day your daughter will ask you about the scars on your wrists. You will lie. You will say you cut yourself on some glass when you were in high school. She will smile. She will think the story of your clumsiness is charming. She will tease you. She will laugh. You will spend the rest of your life worrying that she will find out, the same way you found out your mother had lied.
II. Because it's not just one summer of wearing long sleeves. It's going to the beach and clasping your hands over your wrists instead of letting them chase the wind. It's going shopping and being afraid to try the strapless dress your mother likes, because she might see the red lines. It's not letting the person you love kiss up and down your arm. It's not just one summer. It's a constant, flashing, screaming, hiding in the back of your mind.
III. Because it won't make you feel better. It might make it easier to breathe for a little bit, but see the blood will dry and you will panic and how do you clean the wound and see the skin swells and then it burns and it's not poetic, it just hurts.
IV. Because someone loves you. Either your mama, your dad, your sister or your brother, your best friend or your boyfriend, but someone, in your life loves you. They love your skin like it contains galaxies, for you they'd move mountains, they want to kiss your tears away. You have a home in their arms. Now and forever. And all they ask is not to hurt the person they love. All they ask is to keep the stars within you alive, to let the galaxies expand.
V. Because you will get better and life will get better and days will get shorter and hours will get fuller. You will get better and when you do you won't know how to make amends with your own body, how to apologize to it. You will get better, but your body will remember.
VI. Because you still haven't seen the sunrise over the ocean and you haven't driven down the highway with the roof down and wind ringing in your ears. You haven't kissed for hours that passed in a blink of an eye. You haven't seen your favorite movie yet and you haven't discovered you new favorite book. You haven't built a snow fort with the love of your life.