Recovery

So Damn Hard

I'm starting to accept the fact that I will always be in love with you. No matter how hard I've tried, you still managed to occupy my thoughts morning from night. No matter how hard I try, I still remember the first night  we met. I still remember your touch and how it lingered a little too long, but neither of us minded. I remember the way your eyes never seemed to stray from my face. That's the possibility of blinking would somehow erase me. I remember the way we fit together perfectly, your arm wrapped around my waist, synchronized. Like lost lovers that somehow spent their eternity searching fro one another. I've still yet to find another body that fits so perfectly with mine. I remember the way you couldn't say goodbye, because neither of us wanted me to leave the next day, so you shook my hand, something I've never let you live down. I remember your facial expression, you were trying your hardest to keep it together, we both were. But I spent that night lying awake crying. With a pain so foreign. It was that day that made me believe in love at first sight, I haven't seen you since but your touch still somehow lingers. Till this day I've yet to discover if I'm grateful or tortured by it. I know you don't love me anymore, I know her touch is the only one you crave. I know you stay up late at night thinking about her. The same way I think about you. And I know the realistic part of me knows you've somehow managed to condense me into some little irrelevant speck in your life. But the part of me that clings onto false hope, desperately wonders if I cross your mind from time to time, and if I haunt you. Sad thing is, I still remember the way I had trouble breathing around you, and now I have trouble breathing without you.