Recovery

To The People That Have Hurt Me:

Eight months ago a bittersweet moment happened in my life. Eight months ago I lost and found myself. 

How naïve I was to ever let someone control my happiness. How naïve I was to think I needed someone to be happy.

Remember when you said "nobody will ever love you as much as me"? Well this frightens me because all you did was leave.

Over these eight months I've been in hospitals, I've torn myself down and picked myself back up. Who knew flesh and bone could fuck you up so much.

Your existence to me was just a mere moment in time. You're gone and I've never been happier. You really learn to love someone and be a friend when you're alone.

Dad, I forgive you for hurting me. Mom, I forgive you for not being there for me. Sister, thank you for basically raising me. And to the boy I thought that loved me, I forgive you for leaving because I am so much happier now.

I've never been religious, but I talk to the pastor for the first time this year. She told me how sometimes good people hurt other people. Sometimes we leave and stay in people's lives even if we don't want to. Just remember, forgiveness is never justification for wrong doing. It is only showing your strength and saying I can get over this without it holding me back.

It's so weird knowing someone's existence can mean so much to you in such a short period of time and also mean nothing to you within seconds. So to everyone that will and ever has hurt me, thank you. I needed it for my art.