Recovery

I'm Happy To Say I'm Over You

There comes a time when you have to tell yourself "He's not worth it anymore."

I don't know exactly when I told myself this, it might've been when he left me for good that last time. Sure, I was sad for a little bit, but I think that is normal, considering I lost someone who I spent a lot of time into and cared about.

That's how life is. People leave and you have to move on. I've had to do that a lot over the past couple of years. For me, it was always hard to move on. But this time, it was easier. I got over him pretty fast after he said goodbye. I don't know if it's because I had people to talk to still and met someone new or if it's because I finally realized that I should've left the first chance I got.

It's hard to know what you're really in love with after they leave. Maybe it's the memories, maybe it's the person they were when you first met, maybe it's the image you had of them in their head. I don't think of him anymore and I don't listen to songs that remind me of him anymore. I look at the things that used to make my bones tremble when I saw them after he left the first time and they no longer make me shake. My stomach doesn't get sick anymore when I hear something that reminds me of him. Someone new occupies my head.

After he left, I was able to take a good look at myself and finally have a clear mind on what I want to accomplish in the future. I am focusing on my body, my mind, my sports, and my schoolwork. I have become body positive and I am getting less and less insecure. I have experienced a lot these past few weeks without his presence like, lunch with my best friend, hanging by the pool, family vacations, driving, and hopefully in the near future, going on dates with a special guy.

Not only am I happy to say that I'm over him, but I'm also happy to say that I no longer live in a dark world.