Recovery

What Hurts The Most

I think what hurts most is that you're telling other girls the same things you told me. It goes through my head that maybe I wasn't as special as you said I was. Your words to me were like poetry but now I know you just use that on every girl you meet. I guess that's why I never really truly believed it, because deep down part of me knew you said that to everyone. But I chose to believe you a little bit because why would you lie to me? Later on I realized you lied to me about much worse things than that. Yeah the pain of you leaving me, hating me, yelling at me, not loving me no longer even though you promised hurts like a fucking bitch, but when I see the words that were said so beautifully to me, used on another girl, it's like you're walking over the already shattered remains of my heart and jumping up and down over and over again. I don't know why I'm so hooked on you. But then again I'm a girl who was head over heels for a boy for 3 years after we only dated a week. Who knows how long I'll be in love with you now that we spent almost seven months together. I may be in love with you the rest of my life, knowing what we could've been and knowing that your words meant nothing. Knowing you don't even have me in the back of your mind. It's sad where you can be so in love with someone for so long, only to have them forget about you and never think of you again in the snap of a finger. The lies you told me, the empty promises you made over and over again, I will never forget. I will be sure not to believe another boy who promised me he won't leave, or tells me that I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever laid eyes on and I have such the best personality. My promises and words I told you were the truth. I guess yours wasn't.