Recovery

No One Teaches You How To Make Amends With Yourself

i. I am sorry for letting them break your heart. I am sorry for going back, again and again, for letting them shatter what was already broken.

ii. I am sorry for cutting your precious skin. I am sorry for making you bleed. I am sorry for all the scars that will never heal.

iii. I am sorry for hating you. I am sorry for hating your flesh, for hating the way it spilled over, the way it wouldn't obey, the way it moved and danced. I am sorry for hating your abundance. 

iv. I am sorry you were never enough. I am sorry for never seeing the victories and only counting your defeats. I am sorry for making you break when you could no longer bend. I am sorry for not knowing when to stop, when to breathe, when to take a moment to let the world sink in.

v. I am sorry for making you cry. I am sorry for not protecting you better, for not guarding you and guiding you.

vi. I am sorry I pushed you too hard. I am sorry I didn't see it in time. I am sorry I spent half my life trying to break down what my parents built up. I am sorry. Please tell me how to fix it. Please tell me I can fix it.