Pitch Perfect One-Shots

Chapter CLXXIX - Staubrey: Aubrey's Regret

Aubrey couldn't believe it. She really couldn't. She felt so alien yet so full of guilt and regret. Stacie gave birth to their daughter and she missed it. Their little girl came early but that didn't matter - Aubrey missed it and she was completely beside herself with regret. She should have stayed. She knew she should have. She was going to but her wife convinced her otherwise and now, she would have to live with not being there for the rest of her life.

Sitting in her hotel room, the blonde stared down at her empty hands. They shouldn't have been empty. They should have been filled with her daughter, her daughter that had Stacie's brown hair and Aubrey's green eyes. The blonde couldn't believe she had missed the birth of her daughter: to hold her wife's hand as she pushed, to comfort her through the pain and discomfort, to hear her baby girl's first cry, to hold her to her chest, to hear the sound of her breathing. She missed all of that. Yes, they would still be there when she returned but it wouldn't have been the same. Nothing would have compared nor made up for her loss.

"Bree?" The gentle voice of her best friend sounded at the door. "Bree, it's me, honey. Can I come in?"

"Yeah..." Aubrey's voice was barely audible.

Chloe entered the room, her heart breaking at the sight of the blonde who looked so heartbroken. It wasn't the Aubrey she knew and loved. She had never seen the woman so distraught.

"Bree, I'm so sorry," Chloe sat next to the woman and put an arm around her.

"I should be holding my daughter, Chloe... I should be with her and my wife right now... But I'm not... I swore I wouldn't miss her birth... We planned it out. I should have been back in time for her birth."

"I know but she was early and that's nobody's fault."

"I haven't even met her and I've already let her down as a mother."

"Honey, don't say that. Please. You HAVEN'T let her down at all. You weren't to know that she was going to be early. Nobody was to know."

"I don't want to be absent in my daughter's life. I promised that I wouldn't do that to her. I promised that I wouldn't be like my dad who was hardly there for me... I've already failed."

"Aubrey," Chloe bit back her tears. "You have NOT failed your daughter. She doesn't know that you weren't there."

"No, but I do and Stacie does... I feel awful, Chlo..." Aubrey finally looked at the redhead with teary eyes. "I feel like shit..."

"Bree, no..."

As soon as Chloe pulled Aubrey into her embrace, the blonde crumbled. Every sob broke Chloe's heart and all she wanted to do was take the pain from the woman and bear it herself. The redhead could only imagine what Aubrey was going through. Chloe knew that she would have been crippled with sadness if she was in Aubrey's situation.

"I wish I never came on this tour..." Uttered the blonde. "I wish I stayed with my wife..."

"Hey, don't say that, Bree. This tour wouldn't have been possible without you. I know it's easier said than done but don't let this stop you from enjoying yourself here with us. You've dreamt of doing this with the Bellas again and here you are."

"I want my wife and daughter with me."

"I know you do, sweetie. I know," Chloe kissed the blonde's head and continued to hold her.

"Don't make the same mistake I did, Chloe. When you have kids with Beca, be there for her. You can never get that moment again and if you miss it... you'll hate yourself."

"Oh, Bree... Don't hate yourself. Nothing was your fault. Stacie encouraged you to go because she knew how important it was, plus, she WANTED you to go. I know it won't be the same but you'll still be able to hold your little girl in your arms when you get home and have that quality time with her."

"I've still got two weeks left of this tour and now, every second of it feels like I'm missing so much without my Bella..." Aubrey sniffed.

"Have you spoken to Stacie yet?"

Aubrey nodded.

"What did she say?"

"Pretty much what you said... I still feel shitty though... I think I will for a while."

"Stacie would want you to perform, Bree. She would want you to keep pushing on."

"That's exactly what she said," Aubrey let out a faint chuckle.

"And I agree with her. Bree, whether you were there or not, you have a daughter now. A DAUGHTER. You're a mommy! That's amazing!" She beamed.

"Yeah?" Aubrey was sheepish.

"Hell yeah! When this tour is over, you're going to go home to your beautiful wife and daughter and tell them all about your journey. You have a family waiting for you at home - A FAMILY. You have that to return to and that's amazing not to mention exciting! Like, you get to meet your daughter at the end of this! It doesn't matter if we get picked by DJ Khaled or not, you cannot get a better reward than your daughter!"

Chloe's optimism was what kept Aubrey going all throughout her years at Barden. Her father's authoritarian voice in her head always seemed to overpower her but Chloe kept it at bay. She knew she didn't deserve Chloe but then again, who did? The blonde never thought that Beca was good enough for her best friend but that didn't matter since they were good together. They both brought out the good in the other and they loved each other for all of their faults just like she and Stacie did.

"Thanks, Chlo," Aubrey rubbed the redhead's hand. "That means a lot to me."

"I know it's hard for you, Bree, but don't let the bad outweigh the good. You're a mommy and that is the best reward anybody could ever get. At the end of the day, whether you were there for her birth or not, you still have a little girl who is going to love you no matter what and nobody can take that away from you. You and Stacie made something incredibly beautiful together and nobody else can feel that happiness that is unique to you and your wife. You have a family now and, if I'm being honest, I'm really envious of you because I can't wait to have a family with Becs."

Chloe's words brought tears to Aubrey's eyes but they were happy ones. She was right - she was a mother now and she had a beautiful family waiting for her back home. Aubrey knew she had to see this through to the end. She owed it to herself, her wife, her daughter, and the Bellas. This was her final tour before settling down as a mother so she needed to embrace it. There was no turning back after that. Aubrey would be a family woman for the rest of her life.

"Thank you," Aubrey smiled through her tears. "I'm so lucky to have you as my best friend."

It was Chloe's turn to tear up but she just held her best friend as they relished in the knowledge they were now a mother and an auntie - life's greatest gift.