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No rest for the Wicked (NSFW)

Eddy was heading out with the money Brett had given him, he still felt bad about it but he gave permission for Brett to try to help him. He was still so worried about that though. Eddy was scared of himself and what he would do. He was honestly scared of many things. There was only one thing he wasn't afraid of: Death. Death did not scare him. He had been surrounded by it and it wasn't something he could escape either. He could only come to accept it. Eddy would also say he wasn't scared of pain either but the fact was that he was scared of it. That was why he broke Alex's nose, it was why he choked Brett. He was scared of the pain.

He found himself thinking of those times. Mourning them even because it was no mystery why he was this way and what had added more to it.

______

"Are you sure you want to do this?," Alex asked softly, he had found himself sitting between Eddy's bare legs. He knew Belle told them no dirty stuff but Eddy had said he wanted to try. The only thing was, that his frail seeming boyfriend was shaking like crazy. It didn't take a genius to tell he was scared. Alex knew of Jeremy, that asshole, so he didn't want to do anything that his boyfriend didn't want. Sex hit a sore spot for Eddy, Alex understood that and wouldn't judge Eddy for it.

"I do, please," Eddy looked up at him with his puppy like eyes already pricking with tears. Alex could only gulp, he knew this wasn't a good idea. He shouldn't do it but Eddy would be so disappointed if he didn't. Of course Alex wanted to be physically intimate with his boyfriend but he never wanted to traumatize him. Alex chewed his bottom lip trying to figure out what to do, "Eddy, you don't need to force yourself. I love you, I don't need this to love you."

Eddy looked at him with such an unsure look, a look that said he didn't believe that. Sure Alex had been with him up to this point but if he felt this wasn't going anywhere, Eddy was certain that Alex would leave. Eddy had to do this so Alex would stay, so Alex would love him. He knew he wasn't attractive like all the women in pornography his ex always obsessed over. But he had a hole, he could be useful for something. And sure it hurt and he might have even despised it but this was for their relationship. So he could endure it for Alex. For Alex to love him.

"I want this, " Eddy's voice was strained as he forced the words. He wanted this because he wanted Alex.

Alex nodded slightly, thinking he may need to put his foot down but he was new to relationships. He didn't know if it was his place or not to say no. It was Eddy's body after all, he couldn't control that, "Okay baby, I'll start by stretching you."

He may be new to dating but he wasn't new to sex. He was fairly used to it, it was mostly for transactional reasons though. He had never had sex with someone because he loved them. Eddy on the other hand, he absolutely adored. He could just hope that Eddy would tell him no or would relax. Since he wasn't the one that was supposed to say no, right?

Carefully he coated his fingers in lube, "This will help everything slide in without hurting you."

Eddy looked at the lube like he had never seen it before, he knew what it was obviously and what it was for but he never recalled using it, "Will it make it feel better too?"
He asked quietly, he had always thought that sex was supposed to be painful after his experiences, so was it possible for lube to make it feel good? Was it even possible to feel good?

"It should help make it feel better, yes love." Alex smiled softly, with his free hand he reached out to take Eddy's dick into his hand but the boy swatted him away.

"You don't need to do that, this is for your pleasure. I want to please you, " It had always been that way so why would it be different now. Eddy really didn't understand gay sex for a man who has had plenty of it. Alex gave him a sad look, he knew enough to know it needed to be for both parties, "Baby, I want you to feel good. Trust me, stretching feels a lot better when you are hard."