Get out

Home sweet home

Eddy smiled when Brett pulled up to the curb, they were now in front of his and Alex’s house. His hands couldn’t unbuckle himself fast enough. He was free! Almost free, he just needed to hop on out of the car.

Brett just sat there, not really wanting to get out. He shouldn’t get out anyway, for Eddy’s safety. The house was probably watched, and the lesser they associated Eddy with him the better. He didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything. It felt like he couldn’t breathe anyway.

“Thank you Brett,” Eddy unbuckled himself then looked at the door, willing it to unlock so he could get out of the car. In reality he was just waiting for Brett to unlock it, although he could probably just do it himself.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll wait until you’re inside,” Brett said quietly, unlocking the doors. He didn’t even look at Eddy, because if he did, he would for sure burst out in tears. “Good luck.”

Eddy opened the door carefully and took careful steps out, “Goodbye, Bretty.”

He used the nickname since they probably weren’t going to see each other again. He quietly walked to the front door. Oh hell, he was so nervous. He didn’t know what to expect from this. Eddy walked to the front door, pausing right in front of it. He felt frozen for a moment, but he raised his hand to knock. All there was to do was wait. From behind the door he heard someone shuffle around and a voice he didn’t recognize.

Brett watched Eddy from the car, feeling like the elephant on his chest was back. Everything hurt, and his head felt like it would explode any second. There was no way he would be able to handle continuing without Eddy now. Not anymore, not after what had happened with the kiss, with feeling all of Eddy’s body against him, with the illusion of being worth Eddy’s love and attention. He never was, of course. It was all just because Eddy needed him out of the way for this to be safe. Brett would fix that for him, though. He’d technically have succeeded, and everything could go back to normal for him. Brett had to do that for him, because he loved him so much.

Without second thought, Eddy’s fist landed against the door, knocking as softly as he could. He didn’t want to pound on the door and he didn’t exactly know who was inside with his boyfriend. It worried him a bit that he had heard someone he didn’t recognize. Did Alex move on in that short amount of time? After all, Alex had never come to save him like Zero promised. Or maybe an organization official was over? Eddy gnawed his bottom lip in anxiety, at this point he would prefer an official rather than Alex not wanting him anymore. If that happened, Eddy wouldn’t know what to do with himself. He had been with the man for five years, happily with the man for five years. It was his one comfort in his life, well besides Belle but he hadn’t seen her in years. Alex was all he had, so all he could do was wait at the door and pray to the gods he didn’t even believe in.

Click went the lock, signalling to Eddy that the door was unlocked. Then with a creak the door was opened. Standing on the threshold was the short man that Eddy knew and loved. It was Alex, his black hair with dark chocolate brown tips was tousled, a baggy heavy metal shirt hanging  off his thin frame and what Eddy could only awesome was something akin to yoga pants.

Eddy loved that sight, what he didn’t love was the look that his boyfriend was giving him. It was shocked and confused, along with looking like Alex had seen a ghost. The shorter man mouthed to himself, “They told me that you were de-”

He was caught off though when Eddy hugged him. Eddy was just so happy that he was back home. 

For a moment Alex hugged him back, burying his face into the taller’s shoulder and his fingers curled into Eddy’s t-shirt. 

“Alex, who’s at the door?” A deep and dark voice called from somewhere inside the house. Alex’s eyes flickered anxiously as he glanced inside, before going stone faced. As if detaching himself from what was going on. Then he quite literally shoved Eddy off him, if he wasn’t harsh then Eddy wouldn’t leave, “It’s no one, just a marketer.”

He then looked back at the shocked boy standing in front of him, looking like a kicked puppy..
Alex’s eyes showed no emotion, there was a deadness to them. A look the man always got when he was killing someone, “You need to leave, don’t come back.”

His tone was icy, making a point not to make eye contact with the heartbroken boy. Without second thought he took a step back and closed the door in Eddy’s face. 

Eddy stood there in shock, he didn’t know what to do so he stayed still. Letting the shock run through him, twisting into something wretched in his stomach. He felt sick and like he couldn’t breathe. He brought his fist to the door, maybe if he banged and pleaded he would be let into his home. Eddy did none of that though, his hand fell back to his side as he collapsed to his knees. 

He couldn’t breathe. His forehead fell against the door as a hand shot up to his throat. Squeezing it to try to anchor himself. It worked only a little bit. 

“Pull yourself together Eddy, get up!” He squeezed his eyes closed, he had to go. His safe place was no longer safe. It wasn’t safe in the first place. With difficulty he got himself back up to his shaky legs and slowly walked away from the door. Maybe he could just lie in the middle of the road and let a car run him over. The crushing of his bones and the spilling of his organs on asphalt would feel no different than he felt now.