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Silent farewells

Eddy felt empty, it wasn't a foreign feeling. It was unwelcome though. Alex had left a while ago, in his sleep even. He knew the man just wanted to spare him the pain of seeing him go. Yet there was still the pain of waking up alone. All his tears were long since spilled, so all he could do was sit in the darkness of the hallway. Lost in his own mind and thoughts. He would have to grow used to this when Alex was truly gone, then he'd only have himself to rely on. Perhaps the kindness of Brett but for the sake of that man, it was wise not to. For the sake of not harming him more. Maybe he was just fated to be alone. It would be safer.

Brett had been sleeping most of the whole day, and as the darkness fell he realized that either Alex had left without telling him as he requested, or he was still there. In either case, the house was finally quiet. No more sobs or half moans or anything, which was most welcome. It made it possible to finally sneak downstairs and grab himself something to calm his brain. It wasn't a habit he wanted to have, but it was easy to turn to his wine cellar when times were heavy like they were now.

Eddy heard movement, assuming it to be Brett but didn't say a word. Right now he didn't want to bother him. His thoughts seemed more pressing, wondering if it would have been better if he had died under that man.

Brett dragged his feet down the corridor, mostly stuck in his own thoughts. His own thoughts were mainly on which wine to pick from his vast collection. That's why he jumped when he saw Eddy sitting at the top of his staircase, looking about as forlorn as he himself felt.

"Eddy?" he asked once he had collected himself. A stupid question, really. Obviously, it was Eddy.

"Yeah?" Eddy didn't look towards him as he thought, it was better not to bother him. Perhaps Brett would ignore him. He seemed to want to do that earlier so why should it be different now?

"Why are you sitting here?" Brett asked softly, pausing next to him on the step. He hadn't sat down yet, wanting to ask if it was okay first.

"I'm just thinking Brett," Eddy spoke gently as he stared into the darkness, it was like the void. His eyes trailed slowly to look at the short man.

"May I sit with you?" Brett asked softly, not really sure why he wanted that after feeling the way he had when Alex came back, but he still found himself asking and really wanting to.

Eddy licked his lips, not sure if he should permit that. He dragged Brett down enough, although he knew either choice would cause harm, "You may sit with me."

It seemed like the path that would cause less pain.

"Thank you," Brett said softly, making himself comfortable on a step in his own staircase. He didn't know what more to say, though, so he just sat quietly.

Eddy stayed dead silent too, picking at his fingers slightly although some of them now lacked nails. What could he even say? He shouldn't just make assumptions about Brett's feelings, nor should he push his own onto the man.

Brett looked over at Eddy, thinking he looked sad. Of course, it would be pathetic of him to claim he loved Eddy if every fiber of his being didn't want to fix that upon discovery.

"Did Alex go back to Victor's?" he asked softly to break the silence.

Eddy nodded a bit, "He left, yeah. Slipped away like a shadow. It's what he's good at."

Eddy spoke gently, "That's why he's called zero, after all."

Alex could be anyone or no one at all, he could slip away into the darkness without any trace.

"Sounds practical to be good at," Brett said softly. He knew he'd like that ability. "Annoying for those he slips away from, though."

"Yeah," Eddy ran a hand through his hair, "He left when I was asleep... It's easier to leave when there's no one to cling to."