Often ~ a Kian Lawley Fanfiction

Chapter 51

I rushed into the police station, shoving the doors open. My head felt like it was spinning as I quickly glanced every which was around the room. I noticed a familiar face, and rushed over to him. It was Connor, who looked up and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Where the hell is he?" I questioned anger fuming throughout my entire body.

"I had to bail him out, they are doing some paper work. He will probably be out soon." Connor replied, obviously annoyed with Kian's recklessness.

"I can't deal with this." I growled, pacing around in front of him.

"Deal with what?" Connor asked, leaning on the arm of the seat he was in.

"Him!" I felt myself grow even angrier.

"What do you mean, Sam?" He asked, shifting uncomfortably.

"I don't know." I collapsed into a seat in front of him.

"You don't know?" Connor questioned again, shoving his phone back into his pocket.

"I think I'm gonna go home." I sighed, nervously glancing around the station.

"Go home? Kian will be out soon." He shrugged, looking up at the big black clock hung up against the pale colored wall.

"That's the thing, I don't think I can face him." I avoided Connors shocked expression.

"Woah woah, wait a minute, don't you think you're over reacting a little." Connor replied, watching me carefully.

"Over reacting? The last time I was in a police station it was the night after my brother died. This place is making my head swim." I muttered, taking in a deep breath, my eyes darting to him. Connor didn't respond so I slowly got up and directed my gaze toward the door. I trekked over and made my way outside, it was pretty late so an inky darkness filled the space around me.

Suddenly a heard commotion inside of the station, causing me to turn back around and peer into the station through the clear glass door. I could see Kian messily stumble over to Connor and tilt his head as if asking question. Connor shook his head in what I assumed was a response and looked over at the door that I left through. They probably couldn't see me from the dark area where I was standing. Kian's eyes followed Connor's gaze and looked up disappointedly.

Before they could catch sight of me, i stealthily made my way back to my car, not wanting to make this awkward. But before I could open the car door, I heard a voice call out for me.

"Sam!" Kian shouted. I looked over my shoulder to see him clumsily walking towards me. I ignored him and got into my car, locking the door behind me. I shoved the keys into the ignition, as kian reached my car. He gave me a confused glance and knocked lightly on the glass of my car window. I took a deep breath and slowly rolled down the window.

"Sam..." He mumbled, his words hanging in mid air as he struggled with what to say.

"What do you want?" I replied, making it rather obvious I was annoyed with him.

"Baby, I don't get why you're mad." He slurred, causing me to scoff. I began to roll up the window again but he put his hand down to stop the glass from rolling up farther.

"I'm not doing this tonight." I told him sternly, glaring into his slightly glazed over eyes.

"Doing what?" He question like a lost puppy.

"I just can't believe you'd do this to me." I laughed slightly, looking down at the steering wheel.

"How are you the victim here?" He asked.

"You know that my brother just died, because of a drunk driver. you do realize that, correct?" I responded, raising an eye brow at him. His face contorted into a soft expression for a moment but then changed back to normal.

"You always find a way to make the situation about you." he mumbled. I tried to let that go on account that he was obviously vary hammered. But the way he delivered those words was harsh.

"I can't deal with all of this tonight." I said, looking the other way.

"God Sam, stop being such a bitch." He muttered, causing my gaze to shot back at him in disbelief. My mouth hung open slightly, and I realized this, quickly pressing my lips back tightly together. Kian looked like he instantly regretted the poisonous word that had flown out of his mouth. He tried to read my expression as he began to try and stumble out an apology.

"Sam I-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there." I cut him off and quickly rolled off the window the rest of the way.

Without thought I pulled out of the police station drive way, and my car jetted back out onto the main road. The rest of the car ride home was silent, except for the low murmur of my car's radio and the constant buzzing sound coming from my phone which was lying face down on the passenger seat. I didn't have to see it to know who it was that was calling though.

I struggled to keep my thoughts straight as I made my way back home. I began to go over what had just happened again and again in my mind. Every time it replayed, his words stung more and more. I knew he was drunk, but was that really any excuse for the way he spoke to me.

Soon enough I pulled into my drive way and turned off the car. But I didn't get out, I sat there still in the seat like my body was glued to it. Had that honestly just happened?

My phone began to vibrate again, as I finally decided to pick it up. I stared at my lock screen, 30 missed calls from kian. I rolled my eyes and checked the texts which were mostly crudely spelt "heartfelt" apologies. I carelessly tossed my phone back onto the passenger seat.

I knew one thing for sure, and that was that things wouldnt be the same between he and I anymore. But the main question I had was, could I forgive him?