Often ~ a Kian Lawley Fanfiction

Chapter 41

Connor pov

"Do you wanna film a new collab?" Kian asked me. We were both in our dorm room, and it was a pretty quiet day on campus.

"Maybe later, I think im just gonna go on tumblr for a while right now." I told him, staring at the home screen of my laptop. I honestly just wasn't feeling it today, something was off. I had an exam today, and I'm pretty sure I flunked it.

I opened a new tab on my laptop for tumblr, and logged in. The first thing to immediately pop up on my dash, was a hipster picture of a cup of coffee. It reminded me that I hadn't had any at all today. Which was unusual for me, I offen had At Least two cups a day. Something defiantly was off today.

"I think I'm gonna go to get coffee." I told Kian, standing up and grabbing my coat.

"Alrighty then." He replied, looking up at me from the book he was reading.

"Just try not to have any sex on my bed while I'm gone." I jokingly told him.

"Too late for that..." He chuckled, making me feel queasy.

"You're literal filth." I responded.

***

I waited in Starbucks, hoping that my drink would be ready soon. I stared at the chalk board with the specials written on it in a prestigious cursive font. I considered taking a picture of it to post on istagram later.

"Connor?" A soft female voice called out. I assumed it was the barista announcing that my drink was ready. I looked up, and was surprised to see Beth standing a few feet away from me.

She was wearing a pastel pink sweater, with a matching cotton candy colored beanie hat. She offered a smile at me, and flashed her extremely white teeth. It wasn't a confident grin though, it was a kind of forced one.

"Hey Beth." I replied, not sure if I should walk over to her or not.

"So, what's up?" She asked, taking a few cautious steps closer to me.

"Just getting a coffee..." I trailed off, glancing over my shoulder to see if my drink was ready yet.

"Me Too, do you wanna sit together or something? " Beth offered, nodding towards a table with two seats at it.

"Yeah, sure." I responded in a friendly tone.

"Connor!" The Barista finally called out, holding my drink at the counter.

"That's me." I told her, walking over to get me coffee.

After i retrieved my latte, I strolled over to the table and watched as Beth ordered her drink. They prepared her drink in like under 2 minutes, which must be a new record for this Starbucks.

"They made that so fast." I told Beth as she sat down across from me.

"I know right! They usually take forever to make a drink." She agreed with me. She leaned forward to take a sip of her coffee, causing her long light blonde hair fall over her shoulders.

We talked for a while, mostly about casual things, but the conversation was still entertaining. Beth seemed like something was holding back from completely letting loose though. It seemed like she was so focused on trying to keep my image of her pure. The way she sat in the chair looked so uncomfortable, her posture was ridged, and completely straight. There were times where I could tell she was really being her self. Like when she would laugh, throwing her head back and her clear blue eyes would crinkle at the edges.

I love Beth.
She is funny.
She is adorable.
She is insanely smart.
She is gorgeous.
She is chill.
But I don't love Beth.
I can't.
Because I'm gay.