Often ~ a Kian Lawley Fanfiction

Chaper 58

"Uhm... I'll pass." I shook my head, finally brushing past him.

"Sammmmm..." He groaned out in annoyance, lightly grabbing my arm and pulling me back to him.

"What?" I harshly snapped back at him, seeing a hint of sadness flash in Kian's eyes.

"We need to talk?" He mumbled.

"About what? About your new girlfriend? About how good she is in bed ?" I sputtered not thinking about what I was saying.

"Sam, it's not- it's not like that.... Don't make it about that." He shook his head, hurt filling his expression. I want to apologize but I feel like that would make me seem weak, so I stand my ground.

"If we can't be together, it don't really think we should hang out together..." I sighed, looking away from him.

"We can be friends still." He said, his tone coming off as unintentionally doubtful.

"I don't- I think I'm just gonna go back downstairs." I suggested, staring uncomfortably down at the ground.

"Sam, just... just stay." He basically begged me, making me feel a pang of guilt.

"I guess..." I hesitantly replied. I slowly stalked over to the chair on the other side of the room and plopped down on it, while Kian sat down on the bed. I could feel his eyes latched on me, but I chose to ignore him.

"I miss you..." He said, shattering my thoughts for a moment.

Well that didn't make any sense, he breaks up with me, then gets a new girlfriend, then he suddenly missed me.

"Mmm.... and what does your girlfriend say about that." I raised and eyebrow, and he fell silent.

We sat there in silence for a while, not really moving at all. I felt like I was on the god damned animal planet, one wrong move and I was toast. Or did I want to be toast? I can't even tell what I want anymore.

Kian made me feel something close to ditzy, almost no care in the world, and I honestly didn't mind feeling like that as long as I'm with him. Do I want to get back together with him? Does he want to get back with me? But he was a girlfriend, right? But he misses me...

I glanced over at him, he was watching me so carefully, I almost felt a sense of comfort in his fascination with me. I don't really get him.... and I guess he doesn't really get me either. And that could very much be what makes us or breaks us.

I made eye contact with him and he didn't look away, his eyes just poured into mine. Jesus he had such puppy dog eyes. Sexy puppy dog eyes? Probably not that exactly, but close.

Eventually, I dragged my eyes away from his and turned my attention back to TV.

It was so hard not to go over there and climb into the bed with him. I miss him so damn much... but he has a girlfriend now and we are broken up.

It felt like the room was 100 degrees, and Gravity was pulling us inevitably together. I couldn't stand to stay here anymore. I sprung up to my feet, began to slowly walk over to the door.

"Where are you going?" Kian asked in a low skeptical sounding sound.

"back downstairs..." I replied slowly.

I watched as He carefully got off of the bed, and steadily approached me. I felt my chest tightened and my heart rate speed up. Every step closer he took to be I felt a pulse of excitement and nervousness.

Soon he was standing nearly right in front of me, close... too close?....not close enough. My eyes frantically scanned his face as he began to lean in.

Was he going to kiss me?

I wasn't sure what to do, so I just remained frozen as his pasted mine and he wrapped his arms around me.

Oh. It's just a hug. Am I disappointed or relieved?

I kind of just stood there and let him hug me, still frozen from shock.

I was suddenly very aware of his bare chest, pressing up against my midriff that the crop top was showing off. It was different than hugging a friend, an entirely different energy. I could feel the heat radiating off of his chest and the heat radiating from my cheeks.

He pulled away, which made me want to sigh. I just wanted to stay in his strong embrace all night.

His eyes danced in amusement as he took in my expression. I could only imagine how I looked right now, my cheeks completely flushed and my hair sticking out all over the place.

I hardly noticed how close together our faces were, probably because it felt so normal to me. I mean, we were only mere inches apart.

"I'm gonna...head downstairs now." I stuttered out, accidentally showing weakness. He tried to hold back a cheeky smirk but it didn't work very well.

"Okay..." He replied, not moving away.

I suddenly realized we were to close together, he made a move to close the space between us. I felt his lips brush against mine for a half of a second, before I ducked out of the way and out of the room.

Before I even had time to register what just happened, my legs apparently knew what to do as I dragged myself down the hall and then to the bottom of stairs.

I must have made it to the bottom in record time because I deeply gasping breath as soon as I reached it.

The confusion I felt was soon replaced by a blinding rage.

How dare he tell me about his new girlfriend and then kiss me that same night. Does he think this is all some freaking twisted game.

I know I can't fall into him again, it will just be an endless repeated cycle of heart break. And his new girlfriend, I almost pity the poor bitch, she is going to end up just like me.

Alone.