mha sick fics (angst)

insomnia (shindeku)

Shinso lay in bed, his eyes barely open. He was so tired. He had been up 3 nights in a row, and even now, as his body sunk softly into his bed he couldn't fall asleep. He couldn't shut his brain off. He'd tried everything.

3 days without sleep.

He had noticed the way he was dissociating, falling asleep and then waking up really fast, his grades had began to drop. He was stressed. He was panicked. he couldn't. fall. asleep.

He looked at his bright LED digital clock. It seemed to scream the numbers 2:34am at him. He felt tears pricking his eyes and a sob tear at his throat. He couldn't sleep. And he didn't see the point in trying not to be miserable. So he cried.

When he finally felt calm again it was 3am. He grabbed at his hair and pulled. He was so frustrated. His bed felt too warm. He had already flipped his pillow. Both sides were warm. He sat up, pulling his knees to his chest.

He noticed how some objects in his dimly lit room looked blurry, and others looked sharp. His walls looked distorted and curvy almost. He let out a shaky breath, but he didn't notice he chose to do so. It was like he was watching all this through a screen that he was completely absorbed in.

He looked down at his hands, blurry. His fingers looked wierd. His hands looked so wierd.

He looked back up and the shadows in the corners were scarier than they were before. They were bigger, they seemed to be expanding.

He tried to ground himself, to remind himself it wasn't real. That this was all just a hallucination, that things like this could happen when you were really tired, but that didn't stop it from being terrifying.

He tried to talk but he couldn't. He was stuck. He couldn't move. It was like sleep paralysis, but he was sitting up. He was unable to move. It seemed like he was stuck like that for hours as he watched the shadows morph around his mutated walls. He heard a whimper escape his throat as he broke out of the paralysis. He immediately grabbed his phone and shined his flashlight forward. He noticed how sweaty he was, and how fast his heart was beating. He could feel it pounding in his chest, like every inch of his body was throbbing.

He looked up at the vent on his ceiling and stared, trying to figure out if there was really a bug crawling in and out of the slots. He took another shaky deep breath and picked up his phone, the bright screen looked blurry.

He tapped Izuku's contact, and then hit the call button, holding the phone shakily to his ear, his eyes darting around his dark room.

He heard the line pick up and Izuku's groggy voice fill the line, "Hitoshi? Are you okay?" He asked.

"I-" he started, but the will to cry choked him, "can you come to my dorm please?"

"Yes of course, what's wrong?" Izuku asked. Shinso could hear the ruffle of his covers and the creak of the door as Izuku left his dorm.

"I can't sleep." He sobbed. It sounded so dumb, but it was so frustrating. It was horrible.

"It's so stupid I'm sorry-" he cried.

"No no no baby it's okay." Izuku said, "hey I'm at your dorm, I'm gonna come in okay?" Izuku said.

"Okay." Shinso said, he could see the shadow of his feet under his door. He saw his door handle jiggle, but not open.

"It's locked." Izuku said, "can you unlock it?"

"I-" Shinso started, but he was scared. He was scared to leave his bed. He didn't want the shadows he saw on the walls to take him. He knew it wasn't real, bit it was horrifying to him. He sobbed, "I can't." He choked out.

"I can't" he said, sniffling.

"Hey shhh you're okay. Just run up and do it really quick, I'm right here for you." Izuku said softly.

"This isn't a dream right?" Shinso asked. It all felt like a dream.

"No... This is all real, Hitoshi are you okay?" Izuku asked, "take deep breaths."

"Okay." Shinso said, taking a deep breath, "okay. You're here?" He asked again.

"Yes, I'm right outside your door." Izuku said, patiently confirming.

"Okay." Shinso said, taking a deep breath. "3, 2, 1." He whispered to himself before launching himself out of bed and towards his door.

He made it in a grand total of 2 sporadic leaps. He slammed on the lights to his room and unlocked the door, Izuku was there waiting for him. And the sight was unsettling.

Hitoshi stood in the doorway, his posture sagged, his shoulders rising and falling with every heaving breath. The bags under his eyes were unbelievably dark, his face was sunken and pale, and his his lips were chapped. Streams of tears were actively rolling down his face.

"Hitoshi.. what's going on?" Izuku said, pulled him into a hug.

"I can't sleep." He said weakly, "I can't fall asleep. And the walls are all morphed and the shadows are moving-" he stammered.

Izuku pulled away, holding his boyfriend's shoulders seriously, "when was the last time you slept?" He asked.

"This is the fourth night I havnt been able to sleep." He said gingerly, "I don't know why. I want to so- so badly." He said with hurtfully raw emotion cracking in his voice, "but I can't."

"Hey. It's okay. I'm gonna stay with you and everything is gonna be okay." Izuku said with a smile.

Hitoshi nodded, wiping snot from his nose.

"Let's make this as cozy for you as possible. What needs fixing?" Izuku asked, "do we need to change the thermostat? Do you need some water?"

"Oh- I have water." Hitoshi said, "can we change my sheets? My covers are really warm."

Izuku nodded, "sit down, take a minute to recooperate, I'll handle this really quickly." He said, beginning to change the sheets.

He pulled off Shinso's pillow and threw it his way, Shinso picked it up and hugged it. He felt so safe with Izuku there.

Soon his sheets were changed and Shinso had drank some water, he was feeling a bit more up to talking about what was going on.

"I've been thinking about it, why it's so much worse than usual I mean. I changed depression meds recently, I think it's that. It got worse last time it changed but it got better faster, now it isn't getting better. I havnt slept in 3 days." He said, still hugging his pillow, "I've been getting hallucinations I think. Derealization too. I've been zoning out so much, not even thinking about anything just not being present. It's been awful." Izuku nodded, listening and rubbing the back of Shinso's hand with his thumb while he rambled.

"I think I'm ready to lay down now." He said afterwards, yawning. His body was begging for his bed, "will you- this is dumb. Will you stay with me?" He asked.

Izuku smiled, giving him a humble kiss on the forehead, "of course."

They climbed into Shinso's bed, the new sheets were cool and soft. Izuku got in last, he turned on the lamp and flipped off the lights, "is that good?" He asked.

Shinso nodded, "that's good." He said.

Izuku climbed under the covers next to Shinso and grabbed his hand. "I'll be awake with you as long as it takes." Izuku said, but by the time he rolled over to see if Shinso had received his soft-spoken words..

..he was fast asleep.

Shinso slept for another 18 hours straight. Izuku informed Aizawa about the situation and promised to meet with Shinso to talk to him about makeup grades and working with recovery girl to do something about changing his dosage or his meds so his sleep wasn't affected so harshly.

Shinso fell asleep normally the next night, things were getting better.

----
Less of a sick fic more of a hurt/comfort kind of thing, but it's ok cuz it still turned out nicely.

Pls vote if you liked it!! Leave ship reccomendations and ideas if you want please! <3