mha sick fics (angst)

self harm (dadzawa no ship)

(this is literally just a self projection vent LMAO.

tw for self harm, discussing near attempts at suicide.)

Izuku couldn't seem to stay clean for over a month. Usually it was a big bout of emotional stress that caused him to relapse and then he would feel better after.

But this time was different.

He had just hit 1 month, he was so excited about it. He mentioned it to a close friend even, he was still feeling good! He was so excited he was really getting better.

But that night is when everything hit. He felt like shit. Absolute shit. Everything had started to go wrong. He sat on the toilet with a blade in his hands. He had tried showering, he had tried distracting himself, nothing had worked.

He knew he shouldn't do it but he wanted to so badly.

He realized there was no one stopping him. There was no one who actually cared.

So he dug the blade into his thigh. Nothing in his expression changed as he absorbed the pain and did it again and again.

Why wasn't it helping? He didn't feel better. He wanted to go deeper.

So he did.

He dug the blade into his thigh and dragged it. Bubbles of blood came flowing up over his skin. He liked it.

But now there was blood rolling over his thighs. It threatened to spill onto the floor. He cursed and began wiping the blood off hastily. He couldn't stop it from dripping down the sides of his thighs.

He pulled out his phone and opened I am sober.* He hit reset. And that's when he cried.

(*An app that tracks your days clean on an addiction.)

Over the next few days, he only felt worse mentally. Worst part of it was people noticed, but no one cared.

No one reached out to say anything. No one asked if he was okay. He had cut himself every day since then. Things were getting really bad.

He was suicidal again. By the end of the week he was thinking about death daily. He was thinking about how he could kill himself. He was thinking about how it was getting bad enough to be like it used to again.

He remembered the beginning of the school year. The first semester. Multiple nights a week he had been sat on the floor of his bathroom crying with a bottle of pills emptied into one hand, and the crisis helpline on his phone in the other. A bottle of water was next to him.

He had been so close.

In the end he ended up playing sudoku for 4 hours and put the pills back in the bottle.

Later that year, before Christmas break on December 4th, he made plans to kill himself.

His plan was to come home afterschool, eat dinner, do anything he needed to do, then go upstairs and overdose in his locked bedroom in a locked bathroom.

But someone contacted the school before he could go through with it. He was pulled into the counselors office, principle Nezu was there, a police officer was there, the counselor was there of course, and Mr. Aizawa was there.

He was incredibly overwhelmed but managed to convince them all it was a passing joke, that he didn't have any plans or the means to go through with it at all.

It was all a lie.

No one really suspected anything until everyone but the counselor and Aizawa had stepped out and they called his mom.