James Barnes OneShots

Nightmares

"Please, I won't say anything about this," the man pleaded, trying to unlock the door. The Winter Soldier walked up to the man, not blinking and unwavering. He pulling out his pistol and fired once, and the pleading man silenced.

He shot up out of bed, drenched in sweat and eyes frantic. This has not been the first time this has happened to him, it was far from it. He looked around and finally to his side. He smiled slightly when he saw her sleeping form next to him, happy he had not woken her up. He laid back down and wrapped his arms around his sleeping wife, trying not to startle her awake. He laid there, holding her close for hours, and finally drifting back to sleep.

The next night, it happened again.

The Winter Soldier's surroundings were different this time. It was no memory, but a horrific reality his own mind had created. He was locked in a dark cell, strapped head to toe in his gear. The cell was completely empty except for a woman who sat in the corner, tied up and had not yet noticed the man with her.

"Убийство," came the command over the loudspeaker, startling the woman. (Kill)

The Winter Soldier walked towards the woman, who had started hyperventilating and pleading.

"Please, Bucky, it's me, Y/N, your wife. Don't do this. James, please...please..." She tried to back away farther into the corner, and the Winter Soldier froze for a moment. The names sounded familiar, like they were just out of his reach. He shook off the thought and kept walking towards the pleading woman. Something inside was telling him to stop, but he didn't listen.

The Winter Soldier lifted up his gun.

He loaded it.

And shot it.

The man shot up out of bed, and looked to the side, and instead of finding a sleeping woman next to him, he found her sitting up, sympathy painted all over her features.

"What happened this time, Buck?" she asked, and reached out, grabbing the man's hand.

The man let out a slow sigh, which formed into a sob. The woman wrapped her arms around her crying husband, and started comforting him, and kissing his head multiple times.

"I was locked in a cell with you, you were tied up, and I was back as the Winter Soldier. An order came over the loudspeaker and I- I shot you. I shot and killed you, Y/N," The man sobbed, and he clinged onto his wife. She, Y/N, just held him close, occasionally saying comforting words to him. The two stayed in each others embrace like that well into the morning hours.

The man, Bucky, tried to avoid any triggers throughout the next day, and tried to stay out of the way of his wife. Y/N respected that he wanted space, but she yearned to hold him close and tell him it was all going to be okay in the end.

Around noon, he snapped. The two were sitting at their small kitchen table in their Brooklyn apartment, and had just cleaned up from lunch. Bucky had his hands on the table, lost in thought and Y/N would look at him every so often. She was seated at his left and reached out and grabbed his metal hand, saying without words that she were there for him, and that the metal arm meant no different. Bucky suddenly jumped up and whirled around to face her.

"I can't take this anymore, Y/N! I can't keep living like this! These memories coming back at me every night and me waking you up sometimes because of them and because of last night!" His words sounded strong and forceful, but his face and eyes said it all. He was broken. Shattered. Lost.

"I've lost control of myself during some of them, tossing and turning and even acting as if I was back there, hurting someone. What if that happened last night? What if I hurt you or k-" Bucky stopped and sat down, not allowing himself to finish that sentence. Bucky looked at the woman sitting at his left, and he grabbed her hands in his. "Y/N, doll, I can't do this anymore. No, I'm not saying I want to divorce or anything like that. I could never, ever do that. Y-You're the only reason why I haven't ended it all." Y/N froze, terrified that her husband could be not right in front of her.

The woman thought for a moment, thinking her next words carefully. "Then what can I do, James? I want to stay, I want to help. Please..." Her own eyes glazed over with tears, and she squeezed Bucky's hands. He let out a shaky breath and looked at her, more tears filling his eyes.

"Why? Why do you want to help me? I'm too far gone, I'm a waste of time. But you...you shouldn't be here, with me. I'm not good enough for you, no where close. And then I have the chance to hurt you, you have that risk. And I can't even imagine why you want me over everyone else."

Y/N gave a small smile and wiped Bucky's tears away. "Because, I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else, and I want to be with you. You're funny, smart, one of the kindest people I've ever met, and you make me so happy. And I want to help you. No one deserves what happened to you, and I know this is going to be a long and painful road ahead of us, but I promise I'll be there every step of the way. You can shut me out and push me away all you want, but I'll be there, standing and waiting patiently on the other side of the door."

Bucky gave her a small smile, but more tears crashed down his face. Y/N stood up and brought him up with her, and she wrapped her arms around Bucky. Y/N felt the man she loved snake his arms around her, and pulling her close. The two stood like that for a moment, silent tears running down their faces and an occasional kiss on the cheek.

The two got through the day, and at night crawled into bed and each other's arms, laying there until they finally fell asleep.

The sun peeked through the curtains, starting the next day and giving to room a warm glow. The two stirred and opened their eyes, and looked at each other.

"Any nightmares?" Y/N questioned, kissing the tip of Bucky's nose. Bucky smiled and shook his head no.

"No, there were none. Thank you doll."

"You're welcome, Buck. I'm always here for you."