James Barnes OneShots

The Letter

It's a heartbreaker :)

Words: 2155

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Bucky sat by the bed in the chair offered to mourning families, listening to the steady beeping of the heart monitor. He was practically willing, no, begging the machine never to stop. The sharp smell of chemicals, medicine, and flowers swarmed his senses; yet they could not overwhelm his aching heart.

He stared at the woman resting in the bed, her frail left hand clutched in his right. His body was ridged and at attention like the soldier he used to be, watching her breathing and for any movements.

A terminal illness had taken over her body with almost no warning, and now it was too late to do anything. When symptoms showed the couple first thought they were pregnant; something they had been trying to achieve for months. But the doctor's tests revealed the truth. And now they were in the hospital for another reason.

Although he had friends and family just a phone call away ready to give him support, Bucky had never been so alone in his life.

His heart ached in severe pain as his wife lay motionless on the bed. Two blankets cocooned her chilled body up to her chest. One was provided by the hospital, a basic soft and white sheet. The other was her favorite blanket from home, covered in blue and green cartoon dinosaurs. They stared up at Bucky, offering no comfort.

The love songs they loved to dance to poured out from his phone, making the scene even more heartbreaking. Just a quick glance out the window showed that the city felt the same way. A rainy night; shiny drops of water splattered against the window panes, contrasting with the inky black sky beyond.

Bucky rubbed his fingers against hers, messing with the rings on one of them. "Oh, doll..." he whispered, a tear sliding down his face. "I'm so, so sorry. If we'd have known sooner, maybe you'd be okay." The heartbroken man lifted her delicate and clammy hand to his face to place a kiss on each knuckle and her palm. As he went to speak again, the woman's hand twitched slightly before her eyes shot open, and a gasp left her lips.

Y/N breathed deep breaths through the nasal cannula that supported her respiratory system. Her frantic eyes landed on Bucky, who was now standing up and trying to soothe her by smoothing her hair back. "It's okay, Y/N, it's okay."

She shook her head and began sobbing into her hands, overwhelmed by everything happening to her. As she uncovered her face, Y/N saw the tears pouring down her husband's face as she shed her own. She sat up to embrace him and wipe them away. "Please don't cry, James. Please," she whispered.

Bucky clutched her weakening body and buried his face in her thin neck. "How can I not, Y/N? You're dying," he said, his voice breaking in the sentence he'd never thought he'd have to say.

Y/N shushed him softly and rubbed her hand up and down his back, she herself crying. "It's going to be okay. I promise." Bucky laughed softly at himself while shaking his head and pulled back, cupping her face in his hands.

"Even on your d- death bed you still take care of me," Bucky laughed, trying to steady his voice.

His wife smiled up at him. "It's my job. And, do you know what yours is after I'm gone?"

Bucky's entire expression and world collapsed. "Don't, don't go there," he whispered. Y/N shook her head in retaliation. "Please don't go there."

"Your job," she continued. "When I'm gone, is to love this life. Let it keep its color. Don't fall back into what you were before," Y/N instructed. Bucky shook his head as his lips trembled, thumbs gently rubbing his wife's cheeks.