Flame Thrower (Blairon)

Juggling Grenades

"What the hell are you doing?!" Pansy hissed, barging into my office. I squinted.

"What does it look like? I'm juggling."

"Grenades!" She yelled. "You're juggling grenades!"

I sighed and let the five grenades fall into my arms, Pansy flinching as each of them came into contact with my skin. Draco followed her into the room, running a hand through his hair. I frowned, walking towards one of the cabinets that I keep my grenades in. "You okay?" I asked him and he nodded, slumping onto the long black couch, soon followed by Pansy who lounged across his lap.

"Harry, Seamus and I are meeting with McGonagall Junior's ex husband tomorrow at eleven under the Baywater bridge. Should be fun," he said sarcastically and I rolled my eyes. "You guys are making some good progress," I mentioned and he blushed pink. "Yeah, yeah."

I smirked and began rummaging through my closet. Once I found my favourite pitch black AK I aimed it at the opposite wall behind my desk and began firing. Immediately, Draco and Pansy fell to the floor and when my clip was empty, I groaned.

Pansy stood up, dusting her pants and fixing her hair. An angry fire burning in her eyes.

"WHAT THE FUCK, BLAISE?!"

My eye twitched. The sound of the bullets being shot still rang in my ear and I enclined my head. "What?" I asked.

Draco stood up, his hair in disarray like Pansy's. Neither of them looked happy.

"You just unloaded a bloody AK on your wall as if you were playing darts! You could've killed us!"

I frowned. Draco continued. "We know how good of a shot you are but maybe a little warning next time?"

I swallowed, beginning to feel guilty. "Sorry," I whispered. The both of them sat back on the couch and Pansy patted the spot next to her. I leant the rifle against the cabinet and sat in between the two.

"How was the DE?" Pansy asked softly, stroking my arm. I tensed. I had attempted to avoid thinking about Ron and the trip to the Death Eaters' leader, a good friend of mine, Tom Riddle's. I didn't want to ignore Ron last night but I needed time to think.

What the hell am I supposed to do? Of course I might have imagined Arthur Weasley strung up against the wall like a painting whilst I unloaded the AK but he was Ron's dad. He's not as simple as any other person I've killed. Those people meant nothing to me. They were horrible people that did horrible things and had to pay for it. Arthur Weasley is a horrible person whose done horrible things. But his family will carry his burden. I can't do that to Ron. Yeah, he tried to murder him twice. Yeah, he killed my first friend and right hand man, Theodore. But Arthur Weasley has a son. A son that I- a son that I love. He's family. Family is forever.

I told Draco and Pansy all this and after what felt like ages of silence, Pansy spoke.

"Blaise?" She whispered. I hummed in reply. She hesitated, glancing at Draco as if afraid that if she said the wrong thing, they'd need to work together to stop me from doing something bad. I couldn't blame them after I'd just fired an entire clip over their heads.

Pansy straightened up and stopped caressing my hand. Instead, she held it in her lap, her eyes wavering from my fingers to my eyes.

"What was it like?" She asked. I frowned, raising an eyebrow. She elaborated.

"What was it like to kill your mother?"

I blinked. "I don't remember what it was like. It wasn't me."

She shook her head. "How do you think Z felt, then? When he killed her."

I didn't know where this conversation was going but I answered anyway. I was too tired to lie. "He felt happy, I think," I replied. Pansy and Draco tensed. "He felt really happy. And, and good. It felt good to watch that building burn."

After some thinking, I realized what the two of them were getting at and I groaned.
"I won't be able to stop myself, will I? From killing Arthur?" Draco glanced at me with those cautious icy eyes, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. Pansy's head fell onto my shoulder and mine fell onto Draco's. "If I don't do it, Z will. He doesn't care. None of my alters do. All of them are willing to kill him. All of them except me."

I squeezed my eyes shut and an image of Arthur Weasley invaded my mind. I was standing over his lifeless body, grinning. His blood specklimg my face. I reveled at the sight of his lifeless eyes. His eyes so familiar, like I stared into them everyday. Ron had his eyes.

"I don't know what to do!" I said, my eye sight blurry. "I don't want to hurt Ron."

Pansy and Draco squeezed my hand and my shoulder at the same time. On a normal day, I would've laughed about it, telling them they shared a brain cell. But right now? Their being here was the only thing keeping me from shooting my entire office to shreds.

"He loves you, Blaise. You could never-"

"I could, Pansy," I interrupted. "And I will," I added, sniffing. "It's not up to me anymore. Arthur Weasley will die. And I'm going to be the one to kill him."

I thought back to Ron. His face when Tom asked me to kill his father in exchange for his help.

I began to laugh out loud.

It was like juggling. Juggling grenades. The only thing you're worrying about is which one is going to fall and kill you first...