Dear Diary | Chacha

Empty

    ~Chapter 32~
EMPTY

Chases POV:
Dear diary,
I hate that Charli's gone. My life feels horrible and she's only been gone for a day. I miss her in my bathroom, I miss seeing her face when I wake up, I miss her sleeping in my bed. I miss her more than I can explain. I hate that I miss her because I'm sure she's already forgotten about me. She stayed at my house for a week, and now it feels like apart of me is missing. It's so pathetic. I got myself into this, I dug myself into a deeper hole. I regret meeting her, not because I don't like her but because I love her even more then I thought I could. It's like a whole new world opened up for me the day I met her, because before I was in love with her laugh, her smile, her looks, her voice and those are the reasons I loved her. But now that I really know her, I fell deeper. And now I'm in love with everything about her.

I sighed as I walked downstairs looking for anything that she may have left behind so I'd have an excuse to see her, but I couldn't find anything

It's for the best. A week ago I told myself I would never go near Charli because I couldn't be part of her life... but now just the thought of that scares me... I want to be part of her life but I know if I am, I'm just setting myself up for disappointment.

I laid head first in the couch and quietly laid there for a few minutes

Miss Hudson: "Chase get up. Pull yourself together, you knew she wasn't gonna stay forever"

I know... I just hoped that...

Chase: "I know..."
Miss Hudson: "what do you want for your birthday?"

Next weeks my birthday. But I don't care. Because weirdly enough, Charlis birthday is on the same day as my birthday. I only care about her birthday and Il do anything I can to make her 17th birthday a good one.

Chase: "money"

She shook her head

Miss Hudson: "nope. You aren't pulling this again."

Last year I asked for money because I wanted to get her a great gift. So I did. I took all the money I had and I got her a crystal necklace. Like a real one. But I obviously couldn't give it to her myself, that would look weird. So I gave it to one of her friends to give it to her. And too this day she thinks it's from her friend when it's really from me. She wears it quite often though which makes me happy.

Chase: "please, I need to get her a nice gift"
Miss Hudson: "you need to stop putting this girl in front of yourself! It's not good for you, and I'm sure if she knew this was happening she wouldn't want this for you either"

Yeah, she's right. She wouldn't want this for me either because she's the nicest most amazing human being on this planet. But that's why I'm doing it.

Chase: "I want to get her a gift she deserves"
Miss Hudson: "Chase, she doesn't like you! She just said she'll never date you! Stop doing things to make her like you because that's not how it works. No matter what you get her, she won't fall for you"

Damn. Thats a little harsh

Chase: "I don't care if she likes me or not. I just wanna do something for her to make her happy"

I don't know what's going on at her house but I know something is up. I just want her to be happy.

Miss Hudson: "you have been dedicating your life to this girl for as long as I can remember. What about you? Why can't you be happy?"
Chase: "seeing her happy, is what makes me happy"

She shook her head

Miss Hudson: "no. Why can't you be happy on your own."

I don't know...

Chase: "I don't know."

I don't why I can't be happy on my own. I just feel this need to make other people happy, aka one person. And if she's not happy, neither am I. It's weird and I wish I could stop it, but I can't. I care too much.

Miss Hudson: "don't get me wrong Chase... I love that you're so compassionate and empathetic, but it's not normal. You need to find away to make yourself happy before you can make anyone else happy"

I nodded

Chase: "I just don't know how"

I mean she's right...
Charli's the only thing that makes me happy

I like to draw, drawing makes me happy. But the only thing I ever draw is Charli.

Charlis POV:
I have been getting those... dreams... for a while. That was the worst one yet. It felt so real, I guess I could blame the alcohol for that one. I can also blame Bill.

Ok you know what. I'm just gonna think of something else. Like, my birthday. It's Next week. It's also the one day a year where people have to pretend to like me.

I like my birthday. I get gifts and I party, it's so much fun. For the day. The next day everything is back to normal. Which is what I hate about it, one day you're special and the next day you're not.

I heard a knock at my window and I looked over, I got up and opened the blinds and it was Justin

Uh. What does he want now.

I opened the window and he climbed inside

Charli: "my moms gonna kill you if she finds you, you're risking your life"

He nodded and I sat down on my bed

Justin: "I know but I'm risking it for you. I wanted to come here to apologize"

Really?

Charli: "for what"

Too many things to count

Justin: "I don't know, whatever you're mad at me for"

Seriously.

Justin: "listen Charli, I know sometimes I'm a horrible boyfriend. But I love you, and I'm here for you."

He sat down on the bed next to me and grabbed me pulling me down on the bed

I smiled as he kissed me

I don't forgive him but it's a start. I give in too easily.

The door burst open-
I quickly looked-

Oh god.

Charli: "dad?"

A/n
That took awhile, Charlis dad's finally back from his "business" trip 😄

Alright update on Charli and Chase. They still haven't posted anything together and she's back in LA. I'm gonna actually cry.

Word count - 1105