Dear Diary | Chacha

Dear Charli

                ~The Final Chapter~
DEAR CHARLI

Charlis POV:
NO?? No! No! God fucking Damn it!!
This can't be happening. No no no no no. Oh my god I'm pregnant.

There is a human in my uterus.
I can't do this. I can't do this without Chase! I need him?!

No. Im aborting it. It's easier for the both of us. I should abort it.

But I don't want to kill it. It's my child.
Chases child... our child... I have to abort it though don't I...

No. I can't and I won't. I have other options. Adoption.
I will give it away to a couple who would love this baby. Someone will love this baby better then I can.

I can't believe I'm pregnant...
I'm having a kid... I'm ripping my uterus open, destroying my body and ruining the next 9 months of my life to give birth to a child I don't want? I don't really want to do that...

But it's that or abortion...
I don't know. I wish I could ask chase. What would he say, he'd probably say something like "do whatever you want to do, it's your body. You should chose."

Holy crap chase- do I tell him? Do I not... no.

I'm not gonna burden him again. I'm not gonna put this on him if I'm not keeping it. He will get to attached.
I won't tell him...

I put my hand on my stomach and I could feel the difference.
I wonder how far along I am.

I don't know how any of this works...

I started crying again- maybe- maybe it's wrong? False positives are possible.

I took 4 more test till I was just laying there on the ground with 4 positive tests surrounding me.

Why.
Why does this have to happen to me.

I don't feel like blaming this on myself so I'm blaming it on Chase. He should have known better.
he should have been more careful. Now here I am, knocked up at 17 without a boyfriend. Great. How am I gonna do this alone.

I walked out of my room and downstairs

I'm going to a doctors office and Il get an appointment. I need a consult on what to do.

Abortion or Adoption.
similar words but opposite meanings. The child lives or dies. My choice.

Once I got downstairs my mom was there. Staring at me.

What am I gonna tell her. She's gonna kill the baby herself. Here's an idea, I don't tell her. I will move out in a few months, she won't know.

Miss Damelio: "you're pregnant."

How the fuck- what the hell?? Does she have like pregnancy powers or something what the?

Charli: "what-"
Miss Damelio: "I can see it in your eyes."

What??

Charli: "mom- I- I don't- I don't know what to do! Please help me. It was an accident. Please"
I cried

I can't be kicked out right now?! I have. I  have no one! I have no where to stay?!

Miss Damelio: "listen to me Charli-grace. I knew this would happen so I'm prepared already"

What? Is she not mad?