Dear Diary | Chacha

Better him than alone.

                    ~Chapter 63~
BETTER HIM THAN ALONE

Charlis POV:
He wants me back. He's begging for me back. This is the exact thing I've been waiting for. I waited a month for this and I thought when it finally happened I'd feel amazing. But I don't feel amazing, in fact I feel horrible. Not for him but for me. Why do I have the urge to kiss him? To get back together with him? After all he's put me through. He may say it was real to him now but how would I know if that's true? He lied. He manipulated me. Who says he wont do it again?

Charli: "I don't trust you Justin"

And I'm afraid Il never trust another person again. I have trust issues because of him.

Justin: "please baby"

It's this every time??
It's always "please baby!" "Get back with me baby! "
Shut the fuck up!!

He got down on his knees and hugged me

Charli: "why."

He looked up at me

Justin: "what do you mean why?"

I laughed

Charli: "why do you want me back"
Justin: "because I miss you"

No he doesn't??

Charli: "what about me? What If I don't miss you? You haven't asked how I am, you haven't asked me if I still even have feelings for you, all you've done here so far is waste my time?!"

I pushed him off of me

Justin: "do you miss me?"

Do I miss him?
Have I ever missed him?
I don't know? Now that I think about it, I don't remember myself ever missing him? I don't remember ever wishing he was with me, comforting me. Because how can I miss something that's never happened?

Charli: "no"

In fact Im better off without him. I've cried the least this month then any month I've been with him

Justin: "Charli please. Think about it. I can't live without you"

I rolled my eyes

Charli: "there it is. You're doing it again. You're trying to guilt me into getting back together with you. You haven't changed."

I promised myself I would never get back together with him. He hurt me and now that he's ready he wants to get back together.

Justin: "Il change. For you."

I shook my head

Charli: "I'm with Chase"
Justin: "what can he give you that I can't??"

I rolled my eyes

Charli: "everything."

He scoffed

Justin: "really? Like what."

He really wants to start this?
Fine.

Charli: "he's gotten suspended for me. Twice. After you told the principal to suspend us, he took the blame. He compliments me, he actually makes me feel like I'm pretty even when I don't feel like im pretty. He's so sweet to me and he makes sure I am comfortable when we do anything. He's never objectified me, he doesn't treat me like an object to show all his friends. In fact, he gave up all his friends for me. He gives up everything for me. I have no idea why, but he's the nicest and sweetest anyone has ever been to me in my entire life. Chase is a better boyfriend then you ever were."

the sad part about all this is I didn't lie. All this stuff about Chase is true, yet I still have this part of me that's telling me to be with Justin. If Chase was my real boyfriend I'd have no doubt in my mind about who I'd chose, but he's not. We're faking. And I'm afraid if I don't get Justin now then Il never find anyone...

He nodded still on his knees

Justin: "Il change. Il be like him. I promise. Please Charli"

Can I believe that though?

Justin: "think about it, please"

I sighed and nodded

Charli: "fine. Il think about it"

He smiled widely

Justin: "thank you!"

I walked out the closet and slapped myself in the face

What's wrong with me.

The bell rang for the end of the day so I walked the front of the school and I saw chase at his locker- that's a good sign right?

I walked over to him

Chase: "the principal gave me a break this time"

Really? Thank god! I thought he'd be suspended for sure??

Charli: "that's great. I'd feel horrible if you got suspended"
Chase: "oh, no. I was still suspended."

What?!

Chase: "she said the suspension time for this is 2 weeks but she only gave me one"

Oh god.

Charli: "I feel so bad? Why did you do this?"
Chase: "thought it would teach you a lesson to stop drinking"

Oh.

Chase: "and even though I basically ruined all my chances to get into any college, it was worth it. Because if I had a choice between helping you get better and having my dream future. I'd chose you."

Really? Why?

Charli: "and I wouldn't let you chose me."

I already feel so bad about what happened, I can't let him ruin his life for me. For my problems.

Chase: "good thing you don't have a choice"

I groaned and hit him in the shoulder

Charli: "you can't keep doing this Chase! I feel terrible. I'm going to the principals office right now and confessing"

I can't take this.

I started walking back he grabbed my arm pulled me back

Chase: "nope. You aren't going anywhere. Let's go. You're coming with me"

He pulled me out of the school

I can't let him take the blame! Again? When we started fake dating I never said this was part of the deal. I keep making dumb decisions and he keeps getting in trouble for them.

Charli: "Il beat you like I did Justin if you don't let me go"
Chase: "I'm already suspended. The damage is done. Besides I was the one who punched Justin in the hallway, I should be the one who gets suspended"

He pulled me outside and I just gave up trying to go to the principals office

Charli: "i have something important to talk to you about, today... and you probably won't like it"

A/n
I wonder what she'll chose? Fake dating Chase or real dating Justin?

Also I know I've said this before but IF YOU SEE A SPELLING ERROR OR A GRAMMAR ERROR TELL ME, it's actually so embarrassing when I look through a chapter days after I post it and I see a horrible spelling error. I re read the chapters before I post of course but sometimes I don't catch everything. SO PLEASE TELL ME IF I SO SOMETHING WRONG

word count - 1089