Dear Diary | Chacha

No good at goodbye

                    ~Chapter 90~
NO GOOD AT GOODBYE

Charli's POV:
I know I'm cheating but I don't care. That might make me a bad person or it might not. I'm not a cheater, I cheated once, that doesn't make me a cheater. It makes me a person who cheated once.

I feel sorry for Bentley but I'm not actually sorry. I don't feel an ounce of guilt for this. I only have so much time with Chase before he leaves. No one's even gonna know he was here, no one gets hurt if no one finds out. So the real question here is, why not have sex with him? It would be a waste because no one's finding out anyway.

Once we arrived back at my house we stayed up till 6 am, not just having sex but talking. It felt like old times and I wanted it back so badly.

I hated that he came back because if he didn't, I would have forgotten what I was missing. But he reminded me of it and now i have to start over. I have to move on from him all over again.

After awhile we were both so tired that we had to go to bed.
I was not looking forward to falling asleep because in the morning I would have to say goodbye all over again.

Chase: "goodnight, love"
Charli: "goodnight"

I turned around so I was facing him, he wrapped his arms around me and I kissed him.

Chase: "I had a great time with you"
Charli: "so did I"

Why can't anyone make me feel the way he does? I just want that again... I want to feel the way he makes me feel.

I eventually fell asleep

I woke up a few hours later in the morning and remembered everything that happened last night.

I sat up and he wasn't in my bed

I began to worry
I stood up and walked to the bath room. I opened the bathroom door

Charli: "Chase? You in here?"

Nothing.

Oh my god that bastard did not just do what i think he did?!

I quickly put on my clothes and went downstairs

Charli: "Chase?? You here??"

Silence.

Oh my god.

I ran back up to my room and once I got inside I noticed a note on my bed
I quickly picked it up

"I'm so sorry."

He really left...he thinks this is easy for me?? He thinks saying bye to him is easy for me? No. Of course it's not. But I didn't just run away?! Because saying goodbye is easier then not saying goodbye.

I ripped the paper in half and threw it on the ground

I got into my bed and cried into my pillow

How could he do this to me? He just left me. Again?? He's gonna do this again isn't he? I'm gonna move on from him and he's gonna come back and ruin it.

I hate him. How does he make me hate him so fast? Every time. What kind of person is he.

After who knows how long, my pillow was soaking wet.