Dear Diary | Chacha

Falling apart

~Chapter 119~
FALLING APART

time skip ⏩
2 weeks later

Chases POV:
Dear diary,
It's been 2 weeks since we broke up, 14 days since I've showed up at school, 336 hours since I've gotten out of bed, and 20160 minutes since I last saw her.

My life has completely fallen apart without her. I need her. I can't be without her. how am I supposed to do this for the rest of my life? how am I supposed to keep living my life without her to live it with me?

Every single day I think about suicide. I cry just thinking about my life before grade 11, I was happy, I enjoyed doing things, I had passions, and I had friends. What happened to me.
Il tell you what happened to me.

I fell in love. Piece by piece I completely lost who I was. She had the only part of me left. She destroyed it the second she broke my heart. I gave my all to her and threw it away.

And then I was raped. A lot. and even though Charli was the one who broke my heart, Sarah was the one that broke me. Sarah took everything I had and broke it before Charli even got the chance. Charli was the glue keeping me together and when she left me, I fell apart.

Someone knocked on my door. I said nothing.
My mother entered my room

Miss Hudson: "Chase I know that you are sad, but this doesn't kill you."

it might.

Chase: "maybe it won't kill me but there's a difference between living and surviving. I was living with her. And now I'm just a person, surviving on the earth."

I looked over at the board in my room with pictures of her and I.

Miss Hudson: "You need to get up and go to school"

I cant. I cant go back to looking at her in the hallways.

Miss hudson: "I'm really sorry Chase but your times up. Your school has only given you a 2-week break for mental health reasons. They will not extend it, I'm sorry"

I groaned and got out of my bed

Chase: "can I transfer schools"

She shook her head

Miss Hudson: "No one will take you. It's too late."
She walked out of my room

At school, I hoped and prayed I wouldn't run into Charli or even see her. I would probably burst into tears at the sight.

As I was walking down the hallways I felt like people were staring at me. I arrived at my locker and kept my head down.
I quickly opened my locker and grabbed my work

I stared at the picture of Charli in my locker. Just looking at it I wanted to cry. I took it off and ripped it in 2.

I just want to go home. i don't care about school and i don't care about anything. i dont want to be here.

I closed my locker and walked down the hallways with my head down. I dont want to see anyone right now.
As i was walking someone bumped into me causing all my stuff to fall to the ground

I got on the ground and started picking it up

Chase: "Im really sorry"

I looked up- my heart skipped a beat
No no no no.

I change my mind. I change my mind.
Seeing Charli isn't the worst thing that could have happened, this is so much worse. Bumping into Charli is better then this. Bumping into Charli is better then bumping into the guy who's holding hands with Charli?!