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BEYONCES PERFORMING TODAY AHH

onika

After Bey and Robyn left I had to deal with Amir. I tucked Imani in first then knocked on his door. I wasn't completely sure what I was going to do yet, I'm just going to wing it.

Amir yelled that I could come in so I opened the door. He was sitting at his desk with a textbook open, he probably wasn't even actually studying.

I sat down on his bed right behind where he was sitting with his phone in my hand. "Turn around."

He spun around in his desk chair and we were now face to face. "Yes?"

"What's the password to your phone?" I wasn't going the the whole thing, I know there's things in here I really don't want to see.

"Huh?"

"You heard me. What's your password?"

"Uhh I forgot it." He was twisting a piece of his hair around his finger again.

"Go get a belt."

"What?"

"Go get a belt. I'm done playing with you. I was trying to be lenient with you because of your situation but you keep taking me as a joke. I'm about to show you how much of a joke I really am, get a belt."

When I tell you I gave that boy the whooping of a lifetime. You wouldn't think he's a foot taller than me. I didn't forget the one I owed him for having sex in my house.

I made him sit down after so I could talk to him. "Where did you go after practice?"

"Brysons car broke down."

All I had do do was reach for the belt.

"Wait! We were um... you know. Please don't make me say it."

"First off, Im going to be real with you and tell you what I wish I would've heard when I was your age. It's not that good and it's not worth it for you to keep getting yourself in trouble over this boy. You don't need to be sneaking off to have sex, you're a little ass g- boy."

I know the lying and sneaking around all too well. I was obviously a lot worse and what I was doing was completely different but this feels like deja vu.

I'm terrified of him turning out like me. He can't get pregnant or anything but still. That's a big fear of mine.

"It's not just about sex, that's not all we do."

"So he is your boyfriend?"

"No, I already told you I'm not gay."

"Oh so you like girls?" He's never talked about a girl or brought one around.

He nodded his head, "I do."

"Amir." He can like girls all he wants but he likes boys too.

He put his head in his hands, "I don't want to be gay."

"Why not? What's wrong with being gay?"

"That's so- I don't know, it's weird. It doesn't feel right. For me at least."

"How does it feel weird but you and Bryson-"

"That's different. Can I say something that's way too much information? Like uncomfortably, too much information."

"Go ahead, say whatever's on your mind. I'm listening." I'm just happy we're talking. An open discussion can help a lot.

"I barely let him.. you know. So it's basically like I'm having sex with a girl but he's a boy."

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