MiniSeries About Timothee Chalamet

The Comedian Part 2

Warnings - sex jokes, dick jokes, mentions of toxic masculinity, unprotected sex, jealousy, heard having sex,

"So I have some new jokes for you, you're lucky," I said as I walked across the stage.

"So, my boyfriend came and watched a set of mine a couple weeks back," I said, and the crowd sensed the tension, I heard a couple "oh no"s.

"Yeah, well, I thought he'd be flattered you know, like come on, isn't this a guy's fantasy? Your girlfriend bragging about your dick game? Well he was not pleased."

"Booooo," the crowd said.

"So we got in a biiig fight. He was mad because he says he wants to keep his anonymity. He said my jokes were too revealing. For those of you who know, my boyfriend is kiiiinda famous, you know, just a little. If you know who he is, go look at his last tweet please."

"What in the world," said a crowd member, who was surely reading 'boner bone'.

"Right!" I said pointing to her. "And he's criticizing my jokes?"

"Anyway, turns out he was just horny," I shrugged.

The crowd burst into laughter.

"No I'm serious. It's messed with my mind. He said he was mad because he was so horny, what the fuck? He's turned me into a toxic straight man," I said, Pausing so I could land the joke.

"You know how anytime a girl is upset some guy is like, are you on your period hu hu hu. Yeah, well now every time he is mad I'm kinda like-"

I dropped the mic and squinted like I was assessing something.

"You seem mad, and don't take this the wrong way," I said, pretending I was talking to Timmy.

"But are you, are you maybe?" I dropped the mic again, and squinted harder and the crowd was roaring.

"Are you horny? there I said it!" I said holding my hands up.

"But it's been great, I pop a joke, he pops a boner I meeeaaan," I laughed.

"So yeah I've been getting it a LOT more than usual, which I'm not opposed to but it's created a Pavlov's effect with me. You all know Pavlov right? He was the one with the dogs, and the bell, and the treats, I think you can see where I'm going with this..."

I took a breath and grinned.

"So now, every time I get on stage, I'm like oooooo, I'm gonna get laid so hard when I get home," I said and pumped my fist.

"Like I'm sorry, but it's true, like, what's your name ma'am?" I asked a crowd member.

"Elizabeth," she shouted.

"Elizabeth, wonderful, you're gorgeous by the way. Well, Elizabeth, as I look at your face, and I hear you laugh at my jokes, I'm gonna be honest, I'm thinking about how good I'm going to get dicked down tonight," I admitted. There were shouts of laughter.

"Since it's been happening so much more often we've had to kinda get creative. And when I explain it to my friends, because that's what friends are for, I kinda sound like I'm writing an adult Dr. Seuss book. Like, they have fucked in the bed, in the park she gave him head, how about under a tree? Against the window so people can see? Doggy style is really nice, tie me up to add some spice, you know?"

I heard a dorky laugh and my eyes were immediately looking for my boy. Of course it wasn't him, but a man with black hair and blue eyes, and a smoldering look. I nodded at him.

"Like, I PROMISE, Horton won't have any trouble hearing me when he's going at it. Green eggs and ham, more like blue balls and sausage. Just kidding, I'd never let him deal with blue balls. You know I can just picture people walking by, seeing him fucking me up against our huge window, and being like," I put on my best prissy Karen voice.

"And to think that I saw it on mulberry street!"

"Thank you everyone! I'm available for a meet and greets back stage!"

I wiped down my sweaty face and grabbed some water. I was downing it quickly, needing to get to the meet and greet.

"Hey!" The first mingler was the man with the dorky laugh in the audience. I was stunned because it had sounded EXACTLY like my boy.

"Hey," I said, breathless from the show.

"You did amazing!" He said. "I kinda blushed when we made eye contact."

"Yeah it was because you sound like my boyfriend when you laugh," I said.

"Oh him," he frowned. "Is really that great, I mean you dedicated half the set to him."

"Um, you just answered your own question, I dedicated half my set to him."

"Don't you ever want to try something different?"

"Dude, I just smiled at you because you had a laugh similar to my boyfriend," I said in disgust.

"Yeah. The boyfriend she spent half her set talking about how he completely satisfies her in every way," I heard a voice growl. I turned to see Timothée. I bounced into his arms and kissed him.

"It wasn't him angel, I was in the crowd to surprise you. It was me."

"Oh, Timmy, that's so sweet!" I said.

"Come on," he snapped, pulling me to the bathroom.

"Oh la la, a live show," I smiled. He pushed me against the wall. He was kissing me with a bruising force.

"I don't know why you're getting yourself so worked up, I told him no," I smirked as he pulled his cock out.

"You say that like I wasn't practically being edged your whole show. All those people enjoying you, but only I have you this way," he said as he began to slam into me.

"You're everything, all those jokes are true, but also I'm completely and totally in love with you," I said, and he softened.

"I love you too, and it makes me melt that you like my dorky laugh," he said, still rocking inside me.

"Fuck!" I screamed as he rolled his hips a particular way. "You're so good!"

I was moaning, forgetting who may be hearing me. He just did it so good all the time.

"You know I adore you, but also I am obsessed with your cock, holy hell!"

"You may need to be a bit quieter," he whimpered. I snapped my mouth shut, realizing what he meant. I turned the noise I felt like I needed to make into heavy breathing.

"We need to finish fast baby, I'm being paid to be out there," I told him gently. I kissed his neck, making him melt. He reached down to fondle my clit. I gasped, I sucked on his neck as he pleased me.

"Gonna cum baby," he whimpered.

"Let go angel," I said, and he was pumping cum into me. His desperate noises and twitching cock had me following him with my own orgasm.

"Satisfied," he smiled. "Now go out there and do your thing."

We walked out to a huge crowd. I was shocked that so many people were watching us. A slow clap started and soon people were hooting and hollering. Some men even bowed to Timothée.

"I think you built me up a lil too much," he murmured in my ear, with pink cheeks.

"No, the perfect amount," I said, pecking his cheek.