9-1-1 and 9-1-1 Lone Star one shots (mostly angst)

37: Buck+Eddie⚠️⚠️

•Title: "Breaking point"

•Requester: dobby1273

•Warnings: self harm, mental illness, mental breakdown

•Inspiration: season 5 episode 13

•Type: angst

A/N: Well, I hope you enjoy this!!! As I told the requester, I am SHOCKED that I haven't written about Eddie's breakdown much/if at all. Also, when Buck walks into Eddie's room, I swear to god I saw the holes and thought they were bullet holes. Also, i don't know if he does or not, but pretend that Eddie has a gun. It's only briefly mentioned.

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Edmundo Diaz is brave. He proved that when he served in the military. He proved that when he saved multiple lives while risking his own under fire. He proved that when he moved across the country to where he barely had any family with his disabled son. He proves his bravery every day as a firefighter.

Yes, Edmundo Diaz is brave. Yet, true bravery, is not in heroics. It's in vulnerability. He isn't the most vulnerable person. He is barely vulnerable around his boyfriend, Evan Buckley. All of that changes tonight, though. He loses control of his emotions.

As he drives over, Buck is shaking. Not just a small shake, but a vigorous shaking. If anyone saw him, they'd be concerned he's having some form of a seizure. He had never heard that level of terror in Christopher's voice-not even during the tsunami-and that makes the shaking worse. Buck doesn't know what he is walking into. He could hear Eddie yelling in the background of the call. As he pulls into the driveway and climbs out of his car, he can hear the scared shouts of the young boy even with all the doors and windows closed. He uses his key to let himself in. He follows the sound of the screams-both from Christopher and Eddie-to the door of Eddie's bedroom.

"Hey, hey, hey," he says softly as he places his hands on the small boy's shoulders.

"Buck!" Christopher exclaims, "he won't come out or open the door."

"Okay," Buck sighs sadly, going into dad mode, "you wait here. I'm gonna-I'm gonna go get him."

Buck walks into the room-well, after practically breaking the door down-and looks around. He sees the room that is practically completely destroyed. Nothing in the room is put together and there are holes in the wall. Buck's eyes fly to Eddie's gun safe in the closet, thankful to see it closed and the little light signaling that it's locked. He lets a breath of relief leave his body before he walks more into the room, shutting the door again. His relief about the gun not being used is short lived as he walks towards the end of the bed and sees drops of blood. He looks more and sees Eddie with blood coming from his forearms. Buck knows what happened. Even if he couldn't see the gashes under the blood, he would know. It's pretty obvious, really. He jumps into action after a split second. He cups Eddie's face with one hand.

"Eddie," he says softly, "Eds, hey, look at me."

Eddie looks over, tears in his eyes and his entire face wet with salty drops. His cheeks are flushed and blotchy. Buck uses his thumb to wipe some of the tears away.

"They're all dead," he whispers.

"Who-who's all dead?" Buck asks.

"Everybody that I saved," Eddie lets out a sob, "they're all dead!"

Buck bites his lip and looks down at Eddie's arms. Once he decides that the wounds won't need stitches-thank god Eddie's not on blood thinners-he takes a deep breath, "okay, okay, babe. Take a breath, all right? Give me a moment to get Chris in bed, then I can help you and listen, okay?"