This isn't just a fanfiction, this is a letter.
This is a letter for all the girls that think they're sometimes too much for everyone, and for their mothers, who helped them feel like they are rotten work.
This is a letter to my mother.
I love you...
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How long has it been since I was really happy?
I'm not talking about days where I smiled a little more, or made jokes that I felt stupid for because no one laughed. I'm talking about real happiness. One where your heart beat goes fast and you are filled with light. One where you're excited and hopeful for the next chapter in your life.
I used to love waking up. I used to wake up with the sun, ready to take on whatever the world would offer me that day. But I think that's been over for a while now, I think I've been in a constant state of nothingness everyday. The classes bore me, the magic scares me and everyone around me seems to not have a face anymore.
I do not see faces, I see only the emotions of a person who want to be something one day. I see it on Nicole whenever she picks up a fashion book or draws sketches of the new ideas that come from her glamorous brain, wanting to make the wizarding world's fashion more profound. I see it with Noah when someone gets hurt, wanting to aid their worries, their agony. I see it when Charlotte works with kids, is around kids, smiles with kids. The longing of wanting to teach, to protect lays heavy on her.
However, I do not think I see the same thing when I look into the mirror. The desire of becoming better, to evolve, create. It seems that I have lost the point, the purpose. And it makes me wonder if I've ever had it in the first place.
Every time I think my life is getting better, the world seems to decide to kick me back down again.
It's been getting worse, this feeling, and frankly; I do not know how to stop it.
