Chicago one Imagines

Cant move on »» Kelly Severide

This is all in his pov

My feet paced the hardwood flooring, back and forth for the past hour. It's only been a week since we broke up, and it's got me having panic attacks. She meant everything to me. Never in a lifetime did I think I'd find a girl like y/n, only to loose her after two years. It feels like the past few years of us are going down the drain. Believe me when I say I've tried to forget her but it's so hard. She's everywhere I look.

Thinking of her used to make me smile, now it only makes my heart race. Pacing the living room of my apartment is the only thing that can calm me from my panic attacks. I've never struggled much with anxiety in my life but after she left, all my thoughts race and all the air from my lungs have been ripped away. My friends try to be there for me but it's no use. All I want is her back.

We haven't talked since the night she left my apartment in tears. We fought for hours until deciding to breakup. Even though it was mutual, I want her back. Right now I'm pacing my living room trying to calm my racing heart. It feels like my chest is getting tight and I can't breathe. The pacing isn't helping anymore. My body feels sweaty and I'm genuinely terrified this feeling won't go away.

My shaky hands reach for my phone to call her but it's no use. My fingers are shaking so hard that I can't bring up her contact. It feels like she could read my thoughts because there's a knock at the door and when I opened it, there she stood. Even though it looks like she hasn't slept in days, she's still beautiful.

Her eyes filled with concern seeing me the way that I am. Without saying a word she grabs me in a hug and holds me there. It's like being back in her arms calmed me down enough to catch my breath again. Feeling the warmth of her body against mine, made the panic attack almost completely disappear. We're like that for a while until she pulls away to look at me.

"Are you okay?" She asks, her voice coming out quiet. My head nods slowly, indicating that I'm better. "You should have called me when you started having panic attacks." She says.

"I...I didn't want to bother you." I admit, my eyes swimming with sadness and pain. She reaches up slowly, placing a hand on my cheek. Her thumb rubs small circles on my cheek.

"Together or not you are never a bother to me Kelly. Even when we aren't together, you will always have me." She reassures me.

"Promise," I hold my pinky out and she laughs at me as if I'm a child.

"Promise." She laces her pinky with mine, in a pinky promise. Even though she isn't my girlfriend anymore I'm very lucky to have her.

"Why did you come here?" I ask, slightly confused. She sighs and runs her hand through her hair. She looks almost nervous to speak.

"I come to talk about us because it feels like we did so much fighting that no talking ever got through." She admits. "I just wanted to see how you were and if you were okay."

"I'm not going to lie it's been hard without you but I wanted to give you your space. Honestly I miss you so much y/n and I'd give up the world to have you back."

My words caused her face to soften as she pulls me into another hug. This one felt different though. She clings onto me as if her life depended on it. It's as if she was scared of letting go. "I miss you too, Kelly. This past week has been the hardest week of my life." She whispers. I hold her even closer if that was even possible while leaving a kiss on her head. Soon she pulls away and wipes her eyes.

"I should go. But are you going to be okay?" She asks. I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear and nod with a sad smile.

"I'll be fine. Thank you for giving me the best two years of my life."

"Thank you too, Kelly for being the best thing in my life." She replies before leaving. I'm really going to miss waking up next to her every morning.