Aroace thoughts/rants, poems more

Struggling

I wish I embraced being aroace but I genuinely wish I wasn't the way I am. Not even specifically the aroace part I do not care that I don't experience romantic or sexual attraction. I don't grieve the fact I'll never experience teenage romance or anything. But I just hate the fact that I hate romance in a general sense.

I hate people shipping real people. I hate all friendships being seen as romantic. I hate that it hard to address because if the friends are the same gender it's homophobic to say they're friends. I hate that I hate romance. But I've been stubborn my whole life and the more people put romance as higher or the more I feel like it's being pushed the more I hate it.

And I feel like that makes me a bad person. Because why do I care what other people do or see in a work of fiction. Why do I care that they ship best friends. Why do I have to hate it. Why can't I ignore it? I've never been able to ignore things

Why the hell am I like this.

Why couldn't I be one of the aros who likes it in fiction.

I didn't use to hate roamce. Not like this. I thought it was boring and at times cringe but I didn't have this stupid anger

But then I found out I was aromantic. I found out romance doesn't have to be more and o realized that it shouldn't be more. And I realized people actually under value friendships.

Now I can experience fiction like I used too. I'm picky about the books I read and movies and shows I watch bc I don't want too much romance because now instead of the romance just being there and existing now all it does is take away.

Why am I like this

Now instead of enjoying a platonic friendship I fear they'll end up being romantic or fans will ship them and I wish it didn't bother me that they did but for whatever reason it does.

I hate being aroace