Aroace thoughts/rants, poems more

rant #9292968492

I am not feeling very live laugh love being aroace rn. I'm feeling scream, cry, die being aroace with a side of my hand is still fucked up (I crashed a go kart of the summer and broken my bones, mangled the nerves, lost some muscle and tissue) and I need a third surgery, and I'm an American (the president is a crusty dusty orange wannabe dictator)

Ahhhhhh. I'm tireddd.

All extra stuff aside, I need to rant about being aroace while also being a stubborn piece of shit. I've always been stubborn. You know those books like Mr. Messy and Little Miss Sunshine. I don't remember who but someone in my family (either my parents or grandparents) got me the book Little Miss Stubborn. Or said that I was that character or something. At first I hated being called that and would deny it. But no I am stubborn and I hate it.

Because I don't hate romance just because I'm aroace. I hate it bc it's everywhere and so now I'm like well you can't force me to like something just because it's popular. It's the same with Taylor swift and when I was in 8th grade, highschool musical. I get an adversion to popular things if I didn't already like it before I knew it was popular.

I never hated fictional romance. I liked guessing who would end up together (what I used to think shipping was) but then I realized people liked it so much more than friendship and all of the sudden fictional romance and the concept of romance in general drive me up the wall

And idk what this is ,  but something will get me thinking about how it makes me mad and instead of going about my day I speafically search things on TikTok to see more of that stuff when I know it's not gonna make me feel better and I'm just gonna see stuff that makes me mad and then I'll wanna argue. Why the heck do I do that.

Like it's so normalized to put your bf/gf/romantic partner above your friends but the moment you put your friends first you're a bad partner? When the reality is, or should be, if they are important to you whether it be romantic platonic or familial or something else, prioritize them.  

Why do we have to put one above the other? When we can just love the people we love but in different ways.

Ugggggggghhhh

I am struggling to find the words bc I feel like I could talk for hours and people still wouldn't get it the way I am trying to explain. Like. People might say they get it but something in me is like but they still don't get it. They get it but they don't.

I can't find the words. I'm just upset I guess. I'm sorry I rant on here all the time I mean it's called aroace rants so that's part of this but I don't wanna be negative or make it seem like aroace is all negative. It's just complicated.

Anyways. Thanks for listening to my rant. I hope you all have a great day/night. Take care 💚💜